Edward Cullen Must Die
by IheartTwilight
Summary: [AU] When 3 beautiful shevampires move to Forks with the intention of getting revenge on their player ex boyfriend, Edward Cullen, they recruit the geeky new girl Bella Swan. But what happens when Bella starts to fall in love? Uhoh!
1. Geeks, Girls, and Manic Glints

**Okay lol, so if you couldn't tell from my title, I decided to write a little story based on the very funny move "John Tucker Must Die". Edward and Bella, of course, are both OOC, but I tried to make their original Twilight personalities as close as possible to these new character's. Edward will be a little obnoxious at first, but in time you'll learn to see why and more of the Edward we all love will shine through. I basically wrote this fic for 3 reasons:**

**1) I was tired of everyone making Edward leave Bella and Bella crawling back to him.**

**2) I loved the movie and thought it would be interesting for Edward and Bella.**

**3) I wanted to write something fun and simple for readers to enjoy lol.**

**If you're going to flame me on how Bella and Edward treat each other through out the story - don't bother, because I don't care. I will listen to your opinion if it is stated in a dignified manner, but if you're rude and you just say how stupid it is or how much you hate it, I don't wanna' hear it. Just don't read it anymore. Thanks!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight - that is property of Stephenie Meyer. I do not own John Tucker Must Die - that is property of whatever studio holds its rights. I do however, own this nifty little combination lol.**

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Chapter One

_(Playa')_

I was sitting in the ugly, monotone cafeteria of Forks High. I had been the new girl for a while, but not anymore that the Cullens were here. I was surprised by the amount of desolation they received by the townspeople of Forks; I had been treated most graciously. I still to this day get offers to sit with people, but I always politely decline.

Over this past week that the Cullens had been here, I tried to research what they were, because I was ninety nice point nine percent sure they weren't human. My own personally theory was that they were vampires, but I would never get the chance to test that theory.

I had always been pale and slender, yet soft, with long brown hair and chocolate colored eyes. I wore back framed, nondescript glasses, and I hardly ever wore make up. In Phoenix I was treated like a geek, but here the boys seemed to find an attraction to me. Except the Cullens.

The brawny one and the blonde one were already taken, but the bronze haired one, the most beautiful, was free. I heard that he was a major 'player', though I've never seen him flirt with any girl in this highschool. I tried to talk to him when I sat by him in biology, but he always ignored me like I wasn't there.

If I hadn't been so used to being ignored I might've gotten my feelings hurt.

I was actually excited today though. I purposely got to lunch and bought my food early. I was pretending to read a book, like I always do, while I secretly scanned the cafeteria. There were supposed to be three new girls coming today, and I heard they were unjustly beautiful. Truth be told, I wanted to see if Edward really was a player.

I had no idea where my fascination with him came from, though I really stopped wondering after about a day. There was something about his mysterious, sexy face, his perfectly smooth and angular jaw, that really drew me in. Secretly, I thought he reminded me of the men I read about in my countless collections of romance novels, and I was curious to see if he acted like them, too.

I seriously doubted it; I had learned the hard way that the dream men in my numerous romance novels were merely that, dreams. Still, I knew with a face and body like that, personality wouldn't matter very much. Oh my God, I am _so_ shallow.

Suddenly the cafeteria doors open and the three new girls stepped in. A very strategically placed ray of sunlight illuminated them from behind, making them look even more like models. Everyone was gawking at them, except the Cullens.

The Cullens' reaction actually caught me off guard. They all looked very annoyed, except for Edward, who looked a bit smug. I was really excited to start my observations and see if Edward really was a player or if he would just give these girls the cold shoulder, even though I knew he wouldn't.

They all sat down at a table together, not buying anything. They all started to whisper to each other, every once in a while breaking out into fits of giggles. Everyone was still watching them.

As the bell signifying the beginning of class rang, I got up, clutching my bag, my book, and my tray and made my way to the trash. Around half way there I lost my grip and dropped my stuff. I scowled at the floor.

The three new girls walked up from behind me and carefully maneuvered around my mess, giggling. They were whispering to each other and pointing. I was too stunned by their unnatural beauty to be embarrassed. They had to be vampires like the Cullens!

I was lost in thought until the cafeteria janitor yelled at me to get a move on and clean up my mess.

I hastily cleaned it up and picked up my book and my bags and made my way to biology. I walked in a minute before class started and immediately noticed that two of the girls were in my class. One of them was sitting in my seat next to Edward.

They seemed to be talking, though it was very low and fast. Edward had a smug grin on his perfect face, but the girl looked annoyed. I hesitantly walked up to her.

"Umm, that's sort of my seat," I said timidly.

She and Edward both gave me looks that said "_yeah? So?"_.

"But you can have it," I continued shyly, and slowly I made my way to the only other empty seat, next to a very large, sweaty kid.

All through class I kept my eyes on the girl and Edward, she seemed to grow more annoyed as the seconds ticked by, and he grew more smug. I hardly noticed when the teacher called out for project presentations.

"Ms. Swan?" Mr. Banner asked, slightly annoyed.

"Oh! Yes, sorry," I said with a sheepish smile.

I grabbed my small mitosis model and made my way to the front of the class. I caught my foot on the table Edward and the girl were sharing and tripped, barely managing to keep my grasp on my project.

I heard several snickers throughout the room.

I slowly turned my head to the girl with a big, nervous smile plastered on my face. She and Edward looked like they were about to burst out into hysterical laughter, and when they saw my face they couldn't resist snickering slightly.

"Uh, sorry, for umm, you know, tripping on your desk table thing. I didn't mean to, I swear," I rambled mindlessly, their beauty stunning me.

I made my way up to the front of the room very carefully and slowly to begin presenting my project, something I had been dreading for weeks.

"Okay, well this is umm my project of mi-mi-mitosis," I stuttered, extremely nervous. "If you can see it starts out as a ball thing, and then umm it is umm two balls kind of like umm hanging there," I continued, stuttering occasionally.

I broke out into a light sweat when people started snickering at what I said.

"And that is all," I squeaked, placing the project on Mr. Banner's desk, and hurriedly running back to my desk. I tripped half way there and flew a couple of feet before landing on my butt near my seat.

By now even Mr. Banner looked on the verge of snickering. I sat in my seat, extremely embarrassed.

When the bell rang I let out a sigh of relief. I slowly packed my bag, letting the room clear out, so that if I tripped on my way out no one would see.

"Hello," said a musical voice from in front of my desk.

I let out a small, shrill squeak, jumping around a foot off of my seat. I looked up angrily to see who scared me, and I saw the two beautiful new girls.

"Ca-can I help you?" I asked timidly.

"Bella Swan, right?" asked the girl leaning on my desk.

She was very tan for a vampire (or at least what I thought vampires were supposed to look like), with topaz eyes, mocha colored hair, and big vivacious lips. She wasn't bone skinny, but definitely not fat. She had curves in all the right places, big breasts and a large butt. Over all, a very voluptuous figure.

"Yes, that's me," I said with a small smile.

"My name is Tina, and this is Bev," she said, indicating a skinny blonde to her left.

"Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you," she said kindly, offering her hand.

She was tall and skinny, very pale, with long golden blonde hair. She also had topaz eyes.

"Hi," I said shyly, shaking her hand.

"You don't mind skipping the rest of the day, do you?" Tina asked nonchalantly.

I was about to say 'yes, I would', but now might be the only opportunity I would ever get to find out what they really were.

"No, of course not," I said, quickly stuffing all of my stuff into my bag and slinging it over my shoulder.

"Follow us," Bev said with a smile.

Outside of the door a red head girl was waiting. Her hair went a little past her shoulders, and she was very pale. She had the same eye color as the others, was of medium build, average height, and yet also, stunningly beautiful.

"I'm Vicky," she said with a smile.

They lead me to a beautiful red convertible car that said 'Viper' on it.

"We'll all have to squeeze into the front, I hope you don't mind, Bella," Bev said kindly.

"No, of course not," I said, returning from putting my bag in my truck.

"Well have you home by dinner time, we promise," said Tina with a mocking wink.

I could only smile nervously at her.

"Don't be nervous," Bev cooed.

"Yeah, we don't bite," Vicky, said, and with that they all threw their heads back and laughed.

I could only giggle nervously.

If my hunch was correct, I would be riding to some place I don't know in a sports car full of vampires. Surprisingly, I wasn't scared. Mostly I was just nervous.

And from the manic glint in all of their topaz eyes, I could tell I had every right to be.

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**I hope you liked it lol - sorry for the uber long A/N at the top!**


	2. Make Overs, Dinner, and Secrets

**I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK ABSOLUTELY FOREVER TO UPDATE! School started and everything has been just like all blargh and moody and I've had like no time. Can you believe these idiots make me wake up early _and _do homework? Sheesh. But I solemnly swear to try my very hardest to update more often. And to all those readers of my other story, The Blue Haven, who are all silently swearing at me for not updating, I am sorry! I updated this story instead for two reasons. 1) This story hasn't been updated in forever. 2) I was mad at all the authors who feel the need to make Bella crawl back into Edward's arms. I will try and update soon, though, I swear!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or John Tucker Must Die or Bootylicious or Chili's or whatever namebrands I was stupid enough to use lol. **

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Chapter Two

_Bootylicious_

Tina, Bev, and Vicky all sped through town like madwomen, heading straight for the big department store in Port Angeles. They all had very evil smiles that made them look like the cat that had eaten the mouse. I shivered slightly at that analogy.

"Are you scared, Bella? You shouldn't be," Bev said, noting my shiver.

"Yeah, _Ed _is the only one who has to be scared," said Tina evilly, basically spitting the name out through clenched teeth. All the girls, except me of course, broke out in laughter.

"Umm," was all I could manage.

We arrived at the department store in record time. The girls dragged me out of the car eagerly and ran suspiciously fast up to the door. They basically had to carry me there due to my constant tripping.

They ran into the hair and makeup section where people usually get makeovers. There was also a chair that looked like one I usually saw in salons by the wall, along with a little sink and mirror. Hair products were scattered along the counter, including scissors and that robe thing usually used to prevent too much hair from getting on the customer.

A girl, who was lazily flipping through a magazine, perked up when she saw us.

"Is this her?" she asked Tina in a heavy New York accent.

"Yup," Tina said eagerly, gesturing towards me.

The girl had her unnatural, coarse looking blonde hair piled into a lazy bun on top of her head. She had dark pink lipstick on, with dark blue eye shadow and heavy mascara. She looked to be in her forties, sort of wrinkly, and she was very skinny. Her nametag read 'Carla'.

"Sit down in the chair, girly," Carla said to me, pointing towards the salon chair.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on a second. I was never told about a haircut," I said, raising my hands in defense.

"Come on, Bella, don't be difficult," Vicky said pleadingly.

"Bella, I swear on my mother's grave that your hair will turn out awesome when it's done. We will explain our reasons over dinner once this is all done, so just please, _please _don't argue," Tina stated, looking at me with a slightly annoyed expression, almost as if she was insulted in my lack of trust for her.

I sighed but made my way over to the chair warily. Oh, the lengths I would go to find out what they truly were!

Bev stayed with me while I got my hair chopped off. Well, it wasn't exactly chopped off but it felt like that. Carla had draped a cloth over the mirror so I couldn't see what was happening, and despite Bev's numerous pleas for me to calm down, I was freaking out.

My hair took forever it seemed, which made me even more scared. I looked at my watch to see that it was already six o'clock!

"It's already six! I have to call Charlie!" I shrieked.

"Calm down, Bella. Tina already called him and explained things to him. He said it was good that you were finally seeming to interact outside of school," Bev explained.

I scowled.

Around an hour later Tina and Vicky came back from shopping. They had around six bags each, and I couldn't help but notice their extremely pleased expressions at seeing how my hair was going.

"You guys like to shop," I said, laughing.

"It's all for you," Bev said happily, cutting my laugh off short.

"What! No way can I take all this stuff from you guys. And no way you are paying for my hair," I said strictly.

"Bella, why do you even bother trying to argue when you know you wont win?" Tina asked tiredly.

I resisted the urge to either stick my tongue out at her or, more inappropriate but also more satisfying, flick her off. She noticed my expression and smiled.

When the cloth was finally pulled off I gasped in shock.

"It's permanently straightened now. It won't even tangle. Come back every six months and I will redo your roots, though it will look fine if you don't. You can also scrunch, curl, or do whatever to it more easily," Tina explained smugly.

My hair looked amazing. It was shiny and smooth looking. It had only been cut slightly so that it still came to around my mid-back. Although it was bone straight, it still had a noticeably more amount of bounce to it.

Everyone seemed to sense my love for it, for they all looked pleased.

"Now for the makeup," Bev said.

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We were now driving to a restaurant to eat. I had gotten around three bags of makeup, all for various parts of the face in a variety of colors and shades and each utterly beautiful. I didn't doubt them for a second when they said that all of it would contrast with my skin beautifully.

We arrived at Chili's and got out the car, each of us chatting animatedly. In the little time I had known them I immediately took a liking to them all. They were very nice and beautiful, internally and externally, girls. Although I was still uneasy because I knew they had a motive for their kindness.

We sat down and ordered. Or actually, _I _ordered. They all had a big lunch supposedly.

I was eating my pasta and talking, having fun. I was still waiting for one of them to slip and accidentally reveal the reasoning behind their kindness. Everything was going surprisingly smooth until around the middle of my meal.

The two females of the Cullen group then showed up. They both happened to look absolutely pissed.

"Can we speak to you three ladies outside, please?" the short, black haired one demanded, focusing only on Tina, Vicky, and Bev.

"We have a guest and just leaving her would be _terribly-_" Tina started, but the tall blond cut her off.

"Get your fat ass out of that booth and with us right now," she said rudely to Tina.

"She's not fat. You're just too skinny," I said angrily, surprising myself and everyone around me with my retort.

"Ex_cuse_ me!" the blond said, infuriated.

"Calm down, Rosalie, we're coming with you," Tina said, a smug look on her face. "We will be right back, Bella."

_I am not going to go eavesdrop on their conversation_, I hissed to myself. After a couple of minutes I broke that little promise and snuck away from the table. They had apparently gone out of the restaurant through a back emergency exit and the door was slightly ajar, so I perched by it and listened.

"What you are doing is just wrong and you know it!" I heard, immediately recognizing the voice of the short, black haired Cullen.

"And what he did isn't?" I heard Tina respond coldly.

"You could be endangering her life!" The Cullen hissed.

"Excuse me, what do you think you are doing?" said a waiter from close behind me.

I jumped and shrieked in shock. I then proceeded to trip and fall through the slightly ajar door and land right at the feet of the six equally shocked and slightly angry girls discussing my possible demise.

"Where am I?" I tried to lie innocently, looking up at the girls. I knew I failed miserably.

"You little-" started the blond Cullen furiously, though Tina cut her off by suddenly picking me up and running way too fast for human back to our car.

Vicky was already in the driver's seat starting it up, and Bev was in the seat next to her looking slightly scared. Tina and I jumped in and Vicky sped off.

Then my belated scream came bursting through my lips. Which only managed to last a fraction of a second before Tina clamped her hand over my mouth.

"Shush, Bella!" she hissed.

"You have some major explaining to do!" I said shakily and loudly, still completely freaked out.

"Well obviously. And since I no longer see the point of beating around the bush-" Bev started, only to be cut off by Tina.

"We're vampires," Tina said, staring at me carefully.

"I knew it!" I piped up eagerly, bouncing up and down on my seat. I was so excited that my guess was right that the whole vampire thing hadn't sunken in.

When it did sink, my eagerness left and its place came fear.

"Are you going to kill me?" I whispered.

"No, of course not! We're vegetarians," Bev said quickly.

"Vegetarians?" I asked, my curiosity starting to get the better of my fear.

"We only 'drink' from animals. So do the Cullens. We had a feeling you suspected something, that's part of the reason we chose you," Vicky explained.

"Chose me?" I asked. "Chose me for what?"

"_You _my friend, are going to seduce Edward Cullen," Tina said nonchalantly.

"What! I just found out that you guys are vampires, _actual vampires_, who drink blood and hunt, and you now want me to seduce one of them. Besides the fact that _he _would never be seduced by someone like _me_, that is extremely dangerous!" I squeaked.

Tina just laughed lightly.

"No one has any plans to eat you, so just forget about what we really are and act like we're normal. Second of all, you are perfect so seduce him. You are smart, unintentionally funny, you have no clue of your beauty, you smell extremely good, and you sort of come off as a damsel in distress," she explained.

"I smell good? I'm sure plenty other girls have my same brand of perfume," I stated, confused.

This time they all laughed.

"You smell good naturally to our kind. It's your blood. Edward would've been already extremely tempted by you had he not had his arrogant nose stuck up in the air. He thinks he's too good for humans," Bev said.

"Okay, temporarily putting aside all this other stuff and hypothetically saying I seduce him, what do I do after that?" I asked warily.

"You make him fall in love with you, then you break his heart," Tina said evilly.

"And I would want to do that why?" I asked somewhat rudely.

"Because he did it to us and it's time he learned a lesson before he breaks another poor girl's heart," Vicky said sharply from the driver's seat.

"Oh," I said softly, understanding now.

"Am I to assume that his sisters were here to try and stop you from going along with this?" I asked after a couple of minutes of silence.

"Yes," was all Tina responded.

"How did they know?" I asked curiously.

"Alice can read the future, Jasper, the blond guy, can sense other's emotions and then change them, and Edward can read minds," she said.

I shrieked in embarrassment, realizing that he probably heard all of my thoughts about he and his family.

Tina smiled in understanding.

"Another reason you were a perfect candidate is because for some reason Edward cannot read your mind. There's nothing like a little mystery to melt a guy. And don't worry about Jasper, we'll teach you to block out his little gift later. Alice…well Alice you can't really do anything about but she isn't an immediate threat," she said.

I then realized why they seemed so dejected. They didn't think I would go through with it. They had been so kind to me today, kinder then anyone else I had met in Forks. They bought me an awesome haircut, make up, and most likely very nice clothes. They took me out to dinner, though we kind of never got to pay. They even confided in me their darkest secrets.

"I'll do it, you know," I said carefully.

They all stared at me in shock.

"It sounds sort of fun," I said, laughing slightly at their expressions. They immediately broke out into cheers and started animatedly planning evil, mischievous things to do to Edward when I got the chance. It was very funny.

I called Charlie and told him I would be having girlfriends sleep over, and he seemed pleased despite the fact that it was a school night.

The girls and I carried all the bags into my room. I said goodnight to Charlie before going into the room for the night with them.

I learned a lot that night. I learned of Edward's 'player' mannerisms. I learned all about the Cullens and even how to block our Jasper's influence. I learned how to do my makeup, hair, and how to dress 'hot'. And I even learned how to dance without falling, sort of.

To my dismay, though, all of my clothes were very revealing. The girls said I would look great and when I would start to say no I would just think of what Edward did to them; the pain he caused these three great women. With that I set a resolve.

I would make Edward feel the pain, humiliation, and suffering he made all three of these girls feel. My anger towards him actually scared me slightly, and the girls often had to tell me to cool it down when I was near him so I didn't blow it.

There was one thing I was sure of, though. Even if it wasn't literally, it was _definitely_ figuratively.

Edward Cullen must die.

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**I will try and update soon with all my might lol! Thanks for reading, please review!**


	3. Performances, Accidents, and Winks

**I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER TO UPDATE! This story was sort of on an unofficial hiatus while I wrote the final chapter to my other story, The Blue Haven. I will definitley be updating more often now, though the chapters will be shorter. I'm really sorry this chapter is so tiny, it is really only a filler chapter and the next one was too big to break up into pieces. Well, I hope you like it anyways!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or John Tucker Must Die.**

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Chapter Three

_Hard-To-Get_

"_If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat"_ _George Bernard Shaw_

So that was my 'quote of the day'. I had always loved that quote, even since childhood. Another perk – it had fit my situation perfectly. My interpretation of it was that if a woman wants to go against a semantic or a generalization, she should look good doing it. Now, how did that fit into my situation at all, you want to know?

Well, that's an easy question. I was, at that moment in time, trying to fight off Vicky, Tina, and Bev single handedly from attacking me with mascara, contacts, eyeliner, blush, eye shadow, lipstick, a thong, and a lacy bush up bra. Well, let me tell you, I was losing. Then the quote popped into my mind. If I was going to completely crush Edward Cullen's ego, shouldn't I look hot doing it? Yes, I thought, I should.

With a few compromises, including them ditching the thong, replacing the lipstick for lip gloss, and replacing all the vibrant colored make up for more natural earth tones, I obliged. After the contacts were in and my makeup and hair were done, the girls decided to pick out my outfit. Well, if I said that was a fun experience, I would be lying. _It sucked_.

In the end, it was decided (not by me), that I would be wearing a tan push up bra under a white ginny-tee style tank top, over which would go a denim jacket that only went down to about under my breast line. They put me in an excruciatingly short kaki skirt and brown leather cowboy boots to match. I was surprised, though, about how good it all turned out. I smiled to myself before slinging my bag over my shoulder and heading out to school in my big red truck.

Around halfway to school, a favorite song of mine came on. I looked around childishly, as if to make sure I was the only one in the two-seat truck, before I started singing. It was loud and fun and around halfway through I even started flipping my hair and bobbing my head to the beat. I finished the last note with a bang, which accidentally sent my horn blaring. I giggled and looked out my window, still smiling jubilantly. What I saw wiped the smile off my face.

Staring at me from the other lane in their silver Volvo, and hunched over and holding their sides from laughing so hard, were the Cullens. Edward was at the wheel with his hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing so hard that they would crash. His other siblings weren't being so dignified. They were rolling around on their seats, laughing hysterically and pointing. I was filled with more horror when I realized that not only had they seen me bobbing and rocking on, but their super hearing had also enabled them to _hear. _I let out a shrill and horrified squeak and sped up, desperate to get out of their line of vision.

I sped into the parking lot, almost running over Mike Newton in the process. I screeched to a halt, and ran out of my truck, leaving it idling and blocking the school entrance. Mike was on the ground. He must have fallen in fright, because I knew I hadn't hit him, but seeing him lying their made me feel worse.

"Mike! Mike, are you okay?" I said, running and crouching down. I put my hand to his forehead and it came away full of his sweat.

"You scared the living sh-" He started, but several other students calling his name and running to him interrupted him.

"That was scary!" shouted some freshman.

"That was awesome! Did she really hit him?" shouted some senior.

"Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike!" shouted a panicked Jessica Stanley, who was sobbing and barreling through the crowd towards him, her arms flailing the whole time.

"Great driving, Swan. Maybe next time you can look before speeding through the school parking lot, or must we put up a sign?" sneered Lauren Mallory.

"I'm… I'm sorry," I mumbled, embarrassed. As if singing my brains out in front of a car of supernaturally beautiful people wasn't enough, now I had to almost hit the school pretty boy with my car. Things could not get any worse.

That's when I noticed Mike staring at me oddly from the ground.

"Um, what?" I mumbled, blushing slightly.

"Your glasses are gone, and your hair, make up, and clothes are different," he pointed out, squinting as he looked me over.

Time to get out of _there_. Only the Cullens were supposed to notice me.

"Uh, yeah, hopeyoufeelbettersorryforalmostcrushingyougotta'gobye!" I said as quickly as possible before turning around to run to the shelter of my truck.

"No, it looks good. Really good," he said, smiling appreciatively. Then he winked.

CRAP! Now he thinks I look good. I really needed to get out of there.

"Yeah, it does," Tyler Crowley said, smiling and nodding.

"You look great," said nerdy Eric Yorkie.

"Yeah, um well thanks bye!" I said, and immediately I darted to my truck.

I got in and as soon as my door was shut and locked I took a deep breath. I just needed to calm down. I was overreacting. It just so happens, though, that right after I said that, as I was waiting for Mike and the other students to slowly filter out of the middle of the road, I glanced in my back mirror and saw a shiny silver Volvo that contained five beautiful vampires, all of whom were still laughing hysterically.

It didn't take a genius to see that I was clearly not overreacting. Everything was getting worse by the second, and I knew pretty soon something would cause the whole plan to come crashing down. I just had to speed things up now. I mean, all I had to do was get him to like me and then dump him. Easy, right?

Wrong.


	4. Volleyball, Cupid, and Mysterious Men

**ELEVEN PAGES ON WORD! You all better love me, lol. So yeah, sorry for the tremendous wait, but this chapter is extremely long. I hope you enjoy it! The story juice officially starts here! So enjoy it lol!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does.**

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Chapter Four

_(Volleyball, Cupid, and Mysterious Men)_

"_Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality. It's part of the sizzle."_ _- Camille Paglia_

I used my textbook to shield my hair from getting wet on the way to first period. To my large dismay, when I was safe from frizziness in my homeroom, I realized that my textbook had gotten completely soaked through. I tried flipping to the page we were supposed to be working on today, but it was too late. The book was not salvageable.

I sheepishly made my way to the teacher's desk to show him my ruined textbook. I was surprised to see a line of girls already their, clenching their soaked textbooks. I let out a sigh of relief. But, it turns out that my sigh of relief was rather misplaced. I was the last person in line, and therefore I received the brunt of Mr. Persall's anger.

"How can so many people ruin so many textbooks in a period of five minutes? Is it that hard to put it in your backpack and zip it shut?" he boomed.

I figured saying that I had sacrificed it to save my hair would in no way help the situation at hand, so instead I just let out a small 'sorry'.

"Well sorry doesn't save the school the two hundred and fifty dollars you girls have managed to rack up, now does it?" he seethed.

Personally I didn't see the fuss. It was only a journalism textbook. We shouldn't even _need_ a textbook for journalism.

"No, sir," was all I replied.

"You'll have to pair up with someone then until we can get new ones," he said.

We both automatically turned our heads to scan for any empty seats near someone with a legible textbook. There was one, but it was by, just my luck, a Cullen.

"Uh, erm, can't I just borrow a teacher's edition or something?" I stuttered, panicking.

"With the answers in it? What kind of an idiot do you think I am, Ms. Swan? Now go sit down and get to work," he said, rather loudly.

Everyone was now looking up, even the Cullen. I blushed. As I walked back to the seat near the Cullen, I could clearly hear appreciative whispers about my outfit. Things like "Is that _Swan_?" and "That skirt is _hot_" could be heard all around the room. Where was the teacher's ultra sensitive hearing when you need it?

I shyly took my seat next to the Cullen. He was huge with muscles, and he had dark, curly hair. He was very attractive, though nothing compared to Edward. _Shut up_, I hissed to myself. I was supposed to be breaking his heart. I could _not_ afford to be attracted to him in any sense. I glanced up then, and the Cullen was watching me with a slight smirk. I blushed, but then I remembered my dignity was at stake.

"What?" I asked in what I hoped was a brave voice.

"You look puzzled, or determined. I'm not sure which one, though," he said, smiling.

"Uhm," I said, trying to find a witty retort somewhere in my brain. "Well good luck trying to figure it out," was all I could come up with.

"You're the one we saw singing in the red truck, right?" he asked, after I had started to copy notes out of his textbook.

My pencil lead snapped and I let out little squeak of horror. I had just managed to excavate that horrid memory from my mind, and he there he goes, dredging it up again.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I said with as much dignity as I could. He chuckled. I ignored him and got another pencil from my backpack.

"Nice outfit," he said, still smiling. He offered me his hand. "I'm Emmett Cullen."

"Hi," I said, shaking his hand. "I'm Bella Swan."

I was still mortified, but there was no way I could scoot my chair away from him. I still had to work out of his textbook. It got better, though, as the period went on. We didn't speak again after that, we only diligently copied our notes. I thought I had made it through the period pretty much unscathed until the bell rang.

I got out of my chair quickly, grabbed my bag, notebook, and pencil, said a squeaky little goodbye, and prepared to run to the door when my foot got caught on the chair leg and I went flying through the air, shrieking in surprise. I landed, somehow, on my butt in the middle of the aisle. My pencil rolling away was the only sound in the barrenly quite room. I looked around, my face scarlet.

Everyone in the classroom had their hands over their face, trying not to laugh. _Everyone_. Tina, Bev, and Vicky were waiting by the doorway, shaking their heads in awe at how someone could possibly be so clumsy. Next to them was the blonde Cullen girl, who was mere moments away from bursting out laughing. I sat on the ground there for what felt like centuries, until Mr. Persall told everyone in a voice shaky from restrained laughter to go to their next class.

When everyone else had filed out, I gathered my stuff and ran out the door. To my great relief, Vicky, Tina, and Bev were no longer there. I didn't feel like explaining myself. Then I realized I was around five minutes late already. I let out another shriek before running full speed to my second period class.

---

Second and third period both went by in a haze. It was the same routine. Sit, tap my pencil and pretend to pay attention, yawn once or twice, scribble, remembered my singing escapade this morning, and blush. It was definitely getting old. As third period ended, I took my time packing up and slinging my backpack over my shoulder. I was not looking forward to being in the cafeteria with all of the Cullens _at the same time. _Just the thought of it made me shiver. But I could stall no longer, for outside the door, tapping their feet and curling their locks around their fingers, were Bev, Tina, and Vicky.

"Could it possibly take you any longer to pack up?" asked Tina with narrowed eyes as I exited the classroom.

I mumbled something incoherent about food, bacon, and socks. Even with their super hearing the girls looked baffled.

"Um, nothing. Lets just hurry," I said, walking speedily to the cafeteria.

"Okay, so we need a game plan for the rest of the day to try and renew yourself from this mornings little … um… 'disaster'," Vicky said on the way there.

"_No. _I am not going to even attempt eye contact with them after this morning. Maybe tomorrow. I'm just hoping by trying to blend in I can do some damage control," I said firmly.

"Hun, dressed like _that_, blending in is a little out of the question. Right now, the only way to possibly control what _you _started would be to act sexy. This is a mission, after all, and it would do you some serious good to stick to it. If not for our sakes, for yours," said Tina.

I couldn't deny it any longer. I had agreed to help them take down Edward, and so far I was doing them no justice. If anything, I was actually making them seem worse. Plus, there was that whole making an idiot out of myself thing. I had to at least try. They were right. If not for their sakes, at least for mine.

"Alright. Whatever," I said warily.

"Atta' girl!" Bev said perkily.

I only groaned.

"So, game plan?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well, assuming you are too ashamed to eat, we can start by going to the courtyard where the Cullens can't hear us. Or, for you, _see _us," Vicky said.

"Sounds good." If that plan was going to be this beneficial to me, then maybe it won't be so bad.

"Well, in English, every two periods group together and go to the media to cut out cupids for the dance coming up soon. You and Edward both have that period together, Bella. This could be a great opportunity," Bev said.

Then again, maybe not.

"Perfect! Okay, so this should be easy. All you have to do is make sure you get partnered with Edward, but don't be too obvious, then when you do, make a sort of fuss about it. Make it look like you actually have some sort of self-confidence. Then just be as sexy as possible while cutting out Cupids," Tina said, making it sound like a piece of cake.

"Easier said then done. For one, I can't cut when _I'm concentrating_, let alone when I'm trying to be sexy. I could end up with nine fingers!" I said squeakily, trying to make up excuses.

"Bella. Swan. Listen. To. Me. Right. Now," Tina said through clenched teeth. "You are going to pair up with Cullen, you are going to cut out some Cupids, you are going to pout, strut, flirt, frisk, and flaunt, and you are going to look sexy doing it or so help me Jesus I will hunt you down and I will work you until _every last fiber in your body _is trained to look, act, and think sexy!"

Stunned into silence, I could only gulp and nod. _What had I gotten myself into! _But Tina's speech, though violent and scary, was motivational, and it was exactly what I needed. Though, then again, a pep talk would've been good, too.

"Yes, ma'am!" I said, my voice was full of fear, dread, nerves, nausea, and, surprisingly, _excitement_, all at the same time. Yet it didn't break once. Maybe I was finally ready. Maybe, just maybe, I could finally break Edward Cullen.

---

When I walked to the portable which housed my English honors class, as expected, their was a yellowed piece of paper taped to the door with the words "Class will be held in media center" stuck right in the center. As I walked towards the media, I finally felt like maybe something could actually go right. Maybe I, the dork, damsel, and klutz, could finally be sexy. And who knows, if this goes well, I could take it up to be a professional home-wrecker. Sort of like Angelina Jolie. _Ha!_ Yeah right.

The media center was buzzing with activity when I walked in. Long pieces of light pink, dark pink, red, white, yellows, golds, and silvers were strewed across tables and all over the floor. Completed Cupids hung from the ceiling and the light fixtures. Actually, they were everywhere. They were taped to windows, walls, door, chairs, and tables. Quite frankly, it was scary.

As it turns out, my luck held and I actually was seven minutes late. How was that good, you may ask? Well, I didn't have to pretend to get stuck with Edward and then be all pouty. In the first seven minutes of class, the two classes had paired and grouped, and Edward, amazingly, was the only unpartnered person left. The teacher stacked a large amount of paper in my arms, then put a lot of differently designed scissors into my hands and shoved me towards a table in the far corner of the large room where Edward was seated alone, diligently working.

I dropped all of the stuff on the table. My arms felt like they were going to fall off. I let out a long sigh. Then I noticed the very annoyed expression on Edward's face. I averted my eyes to his cupid, which was perfectly cut, except for a stray line going across the neck. The head was dangling off, and it looked as if someone had bumped into whoever had been cutting's arm right as he was about to finish. Oops. Edward was still glaring at me. That got a rise out of me.

"It's not like I asked to sit here," I huffed, temporarily forgetting to whom I was talking to. I let out an inaudible gasp when I realized what I had said. I raised my eyes to meet his, but his perfect eyebrows were only arched in mild surprise. He said no more.

I sat down in the chair kitty-cornered to his to get the maximum space between us in the little table. I began cutting my Cupid. Well, it turns out that cutting out the shape of a winged baby _and _trying to look sexy was very hard work. I tried to pout my lips in the way I had often seen models do, but when I lifted my eyes I noticed Edward staring at me with a cocked eyebrow.

"Cold sore?" he asked knowingly.

"No!" I huffed indignantly. I returned my lips to their normal position and concentrated on trying to perfect batting my eyelashes. I had often tried to bat them while staring at my reflection. Hopefully I had perfected them enough to look sexy. To my great dismay, when I returned my gaze to Edward, he was staring at me through squinted eyes, as if annoyed. That was odd.

"What?" I asked somewhat self-consciously.

"Are you trying to make me mess up again or do you honestly have an eye twitch?"

I scowled at him and resumed cutting. This was _not _going well. I hoped being sexy wasn't something you had to be born with, because I certainly was not. Edward rose from his chair in one fluid movement. I gave him a questioning look without really meaning to. He smirked.

"I'll be back soon. I've got to go speak with the teacher," he said before walking away quickly and quietly.

"Humph. Nice to meet you, too," I grumbled under my breath.

He paused momentarily, and my breathing ceased. I _once again _forgot about his hearing skills. He turned his head in my direction slightly, and his smirk was much more pronounced. I tried to peel my eyes off him and resume cutting out my Cupid, but my eyes would not obey. His eyebrows shot up questionably when he looked down at my Cupid, which I was still cutting without paying attention. I immediately averted my gaze to my project and let out a shriek.

My hands had begun to move in a direction all of their own. Instead of a nice, smooth, small arch where Cupid's G-rated groin was supposed to be, my hands managed to cut out a peninsula-shaped strip that dangled off, making it look like a surprisingly accurate model of a man's pocket rocket. I raised my eyes back up to Edward; my mouth was a complete 'O'. I picked up on the look that crossed his face immediately. It was one of those 'What the heck is she thinking about?' looks.

As soon as he turned and walked away, much more quickly I might add, I lowered my head into my arms and started grumbling tirelessly. If I wasn't in the school's busy, bumbling media center, I might've cried. A tap on my shoulder startled me and made me jump about a foot in the air. My scissors, which had been in my hand, narrowly avoided a collision with my head. Whoever scared me was certainly going to get a piece of my mind.

"What the he-" I stopped dead when I saw Tina standing there, hands on hips, looking _very _angry.

"Don't you 'what the hell' me, Bella Swan!" she hissed under her breath. "I know you've made a complete fool of yourself and I am _not _okay with that! You have one last chance to pull this off, Bella. If you can't, we pull the plug and leave. This isn't just a game Bella! Please, one more chance. Don't disappoint us, Bella."

With that, she was gone. Moments later, Edward sat back down in his chair. His eyes lowered to my Cupid once more and he blanched slightly. I bit my lip. I was expecting more awkward silence, but Edward spoke up. He had a very nice voice, I noted.

"Was that K-" he was about to say something, but he stopped himself. "Vicky, I mean, that you were just talking to?"

I was about to give him a polite, simple answer, but that certainly wouldn't be sexy. I had to remember this was mine, and Vickey's, Tina's, and Bev's, last chance. So I figured I'd be snappy and play a little hard to get.

"Kvickey? No, sorry, I don't believe I was," I said, resuming my cutting out of another Cupid. It was sort of fun if this was sexy. Edward let out a little grunt. I found it very cute. _No! _I scolded myself. No thinking like that.

Edward laughed, and I looked up. "Having a little debate with yourself, there?" he asked, smirking. I blushed slightly. Of course I shouldn't have expected to win so easily. He had evened the score. _No. _I wouldn't give up that easily.

"It's called thinking, actually. I don't know about you, but it's something I do rather often," I responded, smiling sweetly back at him. His eyes narrowed slightly as he took the blow to his pride. He said no more. Victory was mine.

The nasally bell rang signaling the end of the period. Everyone immediately started scuttling to pack up and leave for his or her next period. I slowly packed up, wanting to post pone gym for as long as possible.

I walked up to the teacher to turn in my supplies and my finished Cupids. Upon taking in the sight of my well endowed Cupid, the teacher's eyebrows shot up and her eyes widened. I blushed furiously and hurried out of the media. I sighed heavily upon realizing two things. One – we were playing volleyball, the death sport, in gym, and Two – I had gym with Edward.

I changed into my gym clothes and sat in the locker room until gym began, wondering how in the world I would A) Not make a fool of myself B) Not kill myself or my peers and C) Look sexy. If I thought cutting and looking sexy was hard, this would be _impossible. _

But then a thought popped into my head. Maybe I could look like a damsel in distress. The girls often said that was a popular form of sexy. And that actually came naturally to me. Maybe this would actually work. Maybe I could pull it off. When it was time to go into the gym, though, my doubts returned. I didn't let them get to me though. Instead I just swallowed them down and prepared for what was to come.

The coach mixed the boys and the girls into four separate teams. It would be one team against another at one net, and the other two teams at another one. Lucky for me, Edward was on my team. The coach assigned us to random positions, and low and behold, I was to serve. My positioning led to moans and gasps, even shrieks of fear, from all. When the coach blew the whistle to start, I put the ball precariously on one flattened hand and swung like a pendulum at it with another.

The ball went straight up, slammed into the ceiling, and started flying straight back down. Everyone screamed and ran for cover. I even saw Edward speed walking towards the far corner of the room. The ball hit the ground at angle and started flying towards one poor soul who was in the process of running away. She screamed loudly before the ball slammed into her stomach and threw her back several feet.

Everyone, including the coach, waited for the ball to stop moving before running to check on the girl. Everyone circled her as she lied on the floor. The coach bent down and put a finger to her pulse.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

She clutched her stomach and groaned.

"I am so sorry!" I said, feeling horrible.

Upon noticing me, everyone took a step away.

"You!" she gasped, her eyes wide. "It was you!"

The coach sighed.

"Newton, Crowley, can both of you please escort Miss Mallory to the clinic? She'll be fine, I think she just got the wind knocked out of her."

The coach shot a glance at me.

"Okay, everyone. Resume your games. And can someone please show Miss Swan how to serve a ball properly, and more importantly, _safely_," he asked. No one responded for a couple of minutes. The coach was just about to start scolding the class when Edward cleared his throat and put his hand in the air.

"I'll do it, sir," he said in his irresistible voice.

"Thank you, Cullen. Now go on, people. Keep playing," he said.

I stood on the black line, prepared to act like a complete damsel, when Bev's voice floated through my mind. _There is a difference between a damsel and an idiot_, she said smartly. It hadn't quite maid sense to me, but now it did. I had to act helpless, not stupid. Yet not petulant, either. God, being a woman was tough!

He walked up behind and coughed slightly, announcing his arrival. I had the ball in my hands. He slowly moved his arms around me, matching them to mine. He told me how to position back and feet and arms and legs. When he was done he left, smirking. He positioned himself a couple of feet to the right of me.

I hit the ball like he told me to, but it only hit the net. The other teams were happy, though. They all let out sighs of relief that they had apparently been holding in. Some people even removed themselves from their hiding places under the bleachers and in corners. I narrowed my eyes.

"Sorry, coach. I just can't serve," I said hopelessly.

"Nonsense. It's not your fault. How were you supposed to learn with Cullen standing about a meter away from you? Cullen, stop being prude and teach her right," the coach said loudly.

His statement was met with a lot of giggles and gasps. I was just blushing, as usual.

"Yes, sir," Edward said with a devilish smile that sent me chills in places I certainly did not want to get chills in. Especially not in the middle of a crowded gym.

Edward pulled me close to him, very close. I could smell his delicious, over powering scent. I could feel every taught muscle, every curve, and every bend being pressed against my back. His stomach and chest were very muscular, and his hands were tough, yet gentle. He delicately positioned my hands and arms. He put his hands lightly on my waste and turned me in the right direction.

I was so busy noting the feels of his body that I didn't noticed him verbally directing me in my ear.

"Bella? Bella? Are you there?" he asked, his breath tickling my ear.

"Completely," I said in a wispy voice, my eyes fluttering. I realized how pathetic and unsexy I sounded and tried to correct myself. "Yes, yes I'm here."

"Of course. Were you, I believed you called it, thinking?" he asked, lightly sarcastic. He laughed a little and so did I.

I made a mental decision then. I didn't care if it went against what the girls said, I thought that I had been cold and 'sexy' enough for the day, so I decided to be nice.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was still a little shell shocked from getting flashed by Cupid," I joked. We both laughed for a bit.

"Okay, I think you're ready to serve. Are you alright?" he asked.

I turned to look him in the face to respond, which was a _very _bad idea. His face was mere centimeters from mine. His beauty was so astounding that I forgot to breath.

"Yeah," I finally managed, sounding breathless. "I'm fine."

He smiled. He didn't just smirk, but he truly smiled. And it was dazzling.

"Good," he said, still smiling, before turning and walking back to his position.

I took a deep breath and readied myself into the right position. I swung my fist and closed my eyes. I heard several gasps. I opened my eyes, afraid I had hurt someone. On the other side of the net, lying perfectly on the ground, was the ball I had hit.

"I did it!" I screeched loudly. I started jumping up and down and screaming excitedly. It was my first time correctly serving, or hitting period, the ball over the net. I jumped near Edward and hopped right into his arms, enveloping him into a big hug. I screamed a bit more.

"We did it! Yay! We did it!" I screeched. Then I realized what I was doing was _really_ unsexy.

I let out a little cough and straightened out my shirt. I straightened out Edward's and walked back to my spot, desperately trying not to blush. The game resumed and I dared to meet Edward's eyes. He was smiling, a true smile, once again. I smiled back before returning my gaze to the game. I was getting envious glares from the girls and longing looks from the guys. And to be honest, for once, I didn't care.

---

I walked to my truck in a happy daze. I obviously liked Edward Cullen, and something a little stronger then intuition told me he liked me, too. The problem was that I didn't know if this was a good thing, or a bad thing. I knew deep down inside it couldn't happen. We were more then two different people, _we were two different species. _But, I'm sure we could get around that… _NO! _Ugh. I had to stop fighting with myself.

I hadn't realized that I was still standing outside of my truck until Edward and the Cullens passed by. Edward caught my eye and smiled. I smiled back before dazedly getting into my truck. A moment later there was a rap on my window. It was Tina, Bev, and Vicky.

"You did it!" Bev said, ecstatic.

"We have no clue how, but that doesn't matter! You are one step closer to total domination!" Vicky said happily.

"Congratulations, kid," Tina said. Something in her eyes told me she knew how much I liked Edward. _No. I'm just over reacting._

"Thanks, guys," I said, smiling.

"You may have thought this was that easy part, but it's not. Now comes the heart breaking part," Bev said.

"So don't get too attached," Tina said sternly, and I immediately knew that she knew. Uh-oh.

"Well, sleep on it, kid. Enjoy the victory," Vicky said smiling.

"Okay, I will. Bye, girls," I said, waving as I pulled out of the parking spot.

"Bye," they said in unison, waving.

Bev looked happy, Vicky looked triumphant, and Tina looked all knowing. It was weird how different they were, even though they were so similar. As I drove away it finally hit me how deep I truly was in now. I couldn't get out, even if I wanted to. All I could do now was enjoy my Edward time while it lasted. If it ended at all… _No! I must not think like that! _

I sighed again, realizing how messed up I was. I was fighting _myself. _I then wondered how I got this far. Was it just curiosity? Because then I would be pathetic. Was it maybe I had already liked Edward? That I just wanted to know more about him?

I knew the answer was yes immediately. And immediately after that, I realized how quite _screwed_ I was. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I saw someone leaning against a tree in the forest bordering the parking lot. I did a double take, but when I looked back, the person was no longer there. They had golden topaz eyes and it definitely was male, yet I was certain it wasn't Edward. I knew there couldn't be many vampires in this small town, so it had to be a Cullen.

But that aroused just as many questions as it did answer them. Why was he watching me? Which one was it? What were their intentions? Great. It was just what I needed, more drama. As if things weren't difficult enough. Oh, man! _And _I had a trig test to study for.

Times like these could really make a girl miss the simple days. Back when I was unnoticed, back when I was on the outside looking in… There they were! The golden eyes were back, peering at me from the side of the road in the forest. The owner of them seemed to be moving, with me… Perfect. Now not only did I have to deal with three bossy female vampires, one perfect, godly vampire, four very intimidating vampires, a very confusing emotion called love, a very hard test on trigonometry, a girl who would undoubtedly want revenge for getting attacked by a stray volley ball I happened to have hit, a police chief dad who would most likely use his contacts to find out everything, but I would _also _have to deal with a vampire stalker.

Don't you just _**hate** _Mondays?

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Tell me what you think! Lova ya'!**


	5. Quizzes, Calls, and the Birth of a Plan

**_So sorry for the tremendous wait, but you guys are the best for being patient! I'm sorry if parts of this seem off, but things have been so hectic. I will start updating regularly again, and if you check my profile page I have new story info and graphics added. So, without further ado, I hope you guys enjoy it, and sorry for the wait!_**

**DISCLAIMER: _I don't own John Tucker Must Die, Twilight, New Moon, or any other titles/characters and/or name brands used through out the story. _Duh.**

* * *

Chapter Five

The Love E-Shack, The Krispy Korner, and Sayin' It Ain't So

"_...If you can make a girl laugh - you can make her do anything..."_

_-Marilyn Monroe_

It was Thursday night, and I was currently lying on my bed, listening to music, and, as usual, arguing with Bev, Vicky, and Tina. See, this argument wasn't going on for nothing, though. Vicky was holding a corset, Bev was pouting her lips, and Tina was giving me that suspicious look she's been giving me a lot lately. Vicky wanted to pick out my Halloween costume (even though I did _not_ trick or treat, and as far as I was aware, there were no parties), Bev was trying to teach me the mechanics of kissing (ugh, no side comment needed), and Tina was just 'making sure' that my relationship with Edward was strictly business and that I was not crossing the line.

You see, lately Edward had been quite the charmer. He had been passing me notes, carrying my books, and every once in a while I would see him glancing at me (in a way that made me melt, a.k.a. drool) with such desire while I worked hard on an assignment. Of course whenever I saw him watching me like that I would be transfixed and turn into a total klutz, but that wasn't the point. He liked me! That was undeniable. And just the thought conjured butterflies in my stomach. Of course, then Tina would pop out of nowhere (usually I would just see her in my peripheral view), and ruin the mood completely, for I would be reminded of the _deed _(that's what I was calling it now) that I would soon have to do.

And lately, Charlie had been quite the pest. He was always asking me what I did, with whom I did it, what I wore, and where I was. Someone had tipped him off. I was sure of it. I had my suspicions set on one person in particular, though. Ever since I had accidentally hit her with the volleyball, Lauren Mallory had been nothing but nasty. She purposely bumped into me in the halls, shot me evil glares during class, and spread horrid rumors behind my back. Bev and Vicky promised to take care of her if she stirred up anything else, but Tina was oddly calm about it. I figured it was her warped way of teaching me a lesson not to get too close to Edward. Which, by the way, was not helping my status with the other girls of Forks High, either.

The green-eyed monster jealousy had been sprouting in girls all over the county since Edward wrote me my first note ever. _"'That color looks lovely with your skin_," it had said. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could curl up in a stall and let out my shrieks of excitement that had threatened to get the best of me during class. That note was currently in my jewelry box, stored safely in my underwear drawer. Every time I got sad I pulled it out and read it over and over again, savoring every word. _Boy, was I getting in deep._

"Bella! Snap out of it," said Vicky loudly, snapping her fingers in my face. Tina was giving me her infamous look again. Bev was still making kissing faces.

"Uh, yeah, sorry. Just thinking about my trig test," I said lamely.

"Whatever. We've decided, though! First, _Bev_," Vicky basically sneered the name, her voice full of impatience, "will give you the obvious and painstakingly boring mechanics of snogging. Then, I get to pick out your costume! Oh, and Tina wants to do some horoscope love thing with you," she finished.

I gulped. First, because I had minimal experience, the kissing lesson was sure to be awkward. Second, because I was one hundred percent sure that Vicky and costumes (_my _costume, no less) together would be nothing short of disastrous, and third, well, basically anything between me and Tina lately went awry.

"Do I have to?" I muttered, already knowing the answer. No one even bothered to respond.

"Kayso first we'll start with the basics, cause I _know _you are a beginner," Bev started, adapting the teen valley girl lingo with obvious ease. "Whenever you see a guy look vulnerable, or particularly excited, he's getting ready to make a move. Don't be fooled, though. Vulnerability in a guy like Edward is a ruse and nothing more. Him vulnerable? _Puh-lease. _Guys like that are just trying to get you to go along with it and to make themselves look nonassertive, even though they are quite the opposite. Comprende?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said, putting down my pen and notepad (I'd been taking notes). "So, how am I exactly supposed to distinguish vulnerability from everything else?"

"That is our first exercise," inserted Vicky eagerly, quickly losing her bad attitude at having to wait her turn. "We found a nifty new online quiz that sums up your personality, who you are most compatible with, your sexiness, and your vigilance. Are you ready!"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Bev, Vicky, and even Tina all adapted evil, girlish grins. They all huddled together on the foot of my bed and faced me (I was sitting curled up in my rocking chair, my chin resting on my knees). With an excited look, Bev got up and tip toed to my computer, sticking out a shaky finger to turn it on. She ran back to the bed and huddled with the others girls, all of them shivering with anticipation.

Fifteen Minutes Later… 

"Maybe it's broken…" volunteered Bev.

The computer was still booting up. It was currently at the page that shows the Windows logo with the little bar at the bottom that shows the loading process. To the untrained eye the computer would appear frozen, but if you watched closely, you could see the little bar move slightly closer to the end.

"This is ridiculous," said Tina sharply.

"It's really starting to piss-" Tina started, but I cut her off.

"It's just old. Show it some respect and in time it will do what we want it to," I said in the old machine's defense.

Thirty Minutes Later… 

The computer still had not finished loading. The girls all seemed to be at a loss for words, all of them completely blown away by the fact that after forty five minutes a computer could _still _be booting up. Luckily their shock kept them from letting loose any more sarcastic and exasperated retorts.

An immeasurable amount of time later… 

"All in favor of the library?" asked Bev.

Lets just say the vote was unanimous.

-

The car ride was, surprisingly, relaxing. We all squished into the convertible, and with the top down, drove to the Forks County Library. The girls all donned large, 70's cop sunglasses and tied scarves around their heads. I guessed the public library wasn't quite the place to be seen.

We (or, more accurately, I) jammed out to some Blink-182 on the radio. It was quite surreal, and enjoyable. I lifted my arms into the air, just to be cliché, but seriously, how could I not? The girl's scarves were blowing in the air, one of the best alternative rock ballads ever was blaring, and I was in a classic car. I mean, _come on. _

"Having fun there, Bel?" Vicky asked, smirking.

"How could I not," I giggled, slightly high on the estrogen rush. "I've only had so many Girl's Night Outs in my limited social life, may I remind you. So please, don't ruin the moment!"

The girls just laughed, and I joined in. I felt so… liberated! It was crazy. Until we got to the library, that is. Then things got frazzled.

-

The library was a nerd haven. It was kind of odd to hear those thoughts coming from my brain, though; for this was the place I had so often flocked to in my earlier years. This had been my safe house.

When we walked in, I stepped up to the front desk and gave the elderly receptionist my card. She smiled warmly at me, her eyes gleaming at me over her oval shaped glasses.

"Hello, Bella. We have missed you!" she said, standing up to give me a hug.

"I missed you too, Mrs. Newman," I said kindly, patting her on the back. She sat back down, still smiling.

I turned back to the girls. They were all avoiding my eye and trying not to laugh. I let out an indignant huff and stormed towards an empty computer! _How dare they! Just because I happened to be a library regular didn't mean they could laugh_! But that didn't stop me from blushing. They caught up to me quickly, but didn't comment.

Bev chuckled behind her hand, for a particularly gutsy nerd had just wiggled his eyebrows at her. He took her giggles as a reciprocation of his flirts, and sat up immediately straighter. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"I bet his shoulders aren't the only thing straight right now," Vicky whispered into Bev's ear, and they both broke out into fits of laughter. Tina rolled her eyes and pulled me away from them.

We sat down in a remote computer in the far corner, at what we thought was a safe distance from any other guys with the wrong idea. _Boy_, were we wrong. Tina bent over to turn on the computer tower, and her action was met with several gasps. We both looked up.

It was like Alfred Hitchcock's _The Birds_, except instead of a swarm of killer birds, it was a swarm of horny nerds. They were _everywhere_!

"God, it's like a reckoning," Tina said, awe struck.

Bev and Vicky came up behind us, watching the flock also.

"That one looks like the chubby guy from those Alltel commercials!" Vicky shrieked, pointing. She and Bev broke out into more giggles.

I, on the other hand, could not find light in the situation. One wrong move and I got the feeling they would pounce.

I really didn't feel like being at the bottom of a gigantic horny nerd pyramid, _thanks._

"Um, Tina, can we just do our business and get out of here?" I asked, my voice quavering from the awful mental image.

"Definitely," she replied, quickly opening up a fresh browser on the computer screen. She typed in some website, too quickly for me to read, into the URL, and moments later a site popped up.

It was almost more frightening then the nerd flock (which happened to still be watching our every move, by the way).

"The Love _E-Shack_!" I gasped in terror! The nerds upon hearing the name of our website, all gasped and started typing in the address into their own computers.

"Yes, now would you mind lowering your voice?" Tina hissed under her breath.

"Seriously, Bella. That one guy is still eyeing me and I don't want to give him any ideas," Bev said warningly.

We quickly took several quizzes (or at least _I _did), and these were my various results:

_You are a star on the rise! Just step out from behind those books and you could become the best Go Go Dancer on this side of the Mississippi River! _(...)

_Good things come in small packages. You are not a small package. (_To this I almost cried.)

_Knowledge is contagious. You, my friend, happen to be immune… (_It said more, but I was too insulted to read it.)

_You are **Anne Hathaway **in The Devil Wear's Prada! You may be fashion-dumb at first, but with time and effort you could become a beautiful starlet! _(Wow, I was flattered. Not.)

_Give up. **Now.**_

_-_

The girls tried hard to cheer me up on the way home, but I was way beyond sympathy. Not only had all the quizzes found some way (some more subtle then others) to insult me, but also on the way out, an elderly man handed me his card! (Some girls might have been flattered, but I'm really not looking to be the next Anna Nicole Smith, thanks.) We stopped at a local fast food restaurant before they dropped me off.

"Just keep trying, Bella. You _can_ be sexy, you're already beautiful!" said Bev encouragingly.

"If anyone gives you a hard time, Bella, just let me know," said Vicky, followed by a menacing wink.

"Bella, you are better then those quizzes. You are smart, strong, and pretty, and you have a mission. Don't let some stupid quiz get in the way of that," Tina said sharply. I picked up some kind of undercurrent from her speech.

"Thanks guys. Don't give up on me. I'm sure I'll get sexy sometime," I said, mustering up a half smile.

"That's our girl!" shouted Vicky, before they all turned around and sped off into the night, to do whatever vampires do without a human present.

-

"CHARLIE! I'M HOME!" I screamed upon entering the house. I put my rain jacket on the hook in the foyer. I kicked off my boots and headed for the kitchen to get a drink. I was parched from all the library activities. Charlie was there, taking Advil's.

"Jeez, dad, calm down. You're taking those pills like M&M's," I said, but I was smiling. It was a smile Charlie _did not _return.

"I've been worried about you lately, Bells, suspicious. And tonight was just the icing on the cupcake," he said sternly, glancing at me over the glass of water he raised to his face to take his pills.

"Worried? Suspicious? _Why? _And what did I do wrong tonight?" I asked, puzzled and worried.

"Mrs. Yorkie, who's husband delivers the paper to the stations on Tuesdays and Thursdays, got reports from her son Eric that lately you have been hanging out with quite the crowd. Literally _and figuratively_," he said, insinuating something I didn't quite get.

"An elaboration would be nice," I pushed skeptically when he didn't say anything else.

"Basically he says you've been wearing quite the outfits lately," he said, and suddenly I understood the _hanging out _reference. I was definitely insulted.

"I have not!" I shouted.

"Would you like me to check your closet?" he asked.

My thoughts immediately drifted to the stashed bras, thongs, skimpy t-shirts, and shorty-shorts that I never wore but were stashed there nonetheless from Bev and Vicky's numerous splurges on me. I grimaced; I had lost the battle.

"Exactly. Now, Bells, I don't blame you, I really don't. I just think you've been spending too much time with those girls," he said.

"Dad, they are good girls. They are a lot better then some of the _other_ girls at school!" I said sharply in their defense. I hated how he was judging them by rumors he'd heard.

"I'm sure they are. But I think it'd be better for you if you got a job-"

My own father was selling me off to some random store manager so I could be under watch at all times. And _he _wasn't even the one watching me! I wouldn't, _couldn't_, stand for such unfairness. He was punishing me all for rumors he had heard?! And I didn't even get to pick the job!

"How could you!" I shouted. I didn't give him time to respond, I was so mad. I turned on my heel and stomped up the stairs.

"You'll be working at The Krusty Korner! Your uniform and work schedules are on your bed! You'll thank me!" he shouted after me. I stomped into my room and slammed the door behind me.

How unfair was it that the one time my dad decides to be a real parent, _the one time I get close to having real friends, _he has to ruin it? And then he has the nerve to say I'll thank him? I let out a loud, exasperated sigh. My 'uniform' was exactly where Charlie said it'd be. It consisted of an ugly, mustard yellow colored vest, a white long sleeved button down shirt, black slacks, and a yellow hat in a shape that somewhat resembled a boat with a cooked chicken, a doughnut, and French fries all on board.

I picked up my schedule haughtily from my bed. They had me down for Tuesday through Saturday. My mouth fell open and I released the schedule, letting it float quietly down from the bed. This was _not _fair. Right when things were getting good, it all had to come crashing down. The worst part would be trying to explain it to the girls, for I knew they would be insulted. I dropped to my bed and put my arms over my eyes, preparing to scream into my pillow.

"BELLA!" Charlie shouted from down stairs. "YOU'RE NEW MANAGER SHOULD BE CALLING YOU SOON TO DISCUSS YOUR SCHEDULE! MAKE SURE YOU PICK UP THE PHONE!" he shouted, and by the way he said it I could hear the smile in his voice. It sent a tremor up my spine.

The phone rang loudly, making me jump. I picked it up, preparing myself for the worst.

"Hey, Bella? I'm glad I got a hold of you-" the voice started, but I tuned it out. For I had recognized the voice.

It was that of Jacob Black.

My new manager.

I looked around the room, as if there could be something there to share my indignation with. My stuffed animals were smiling creepily, my wall clock was pleasantly monotone, and my computer was on the desktop screen, humming as if proud of itself.

My fledgling social life had come and gone in an instant, and I felt void and hollow knowing that my chance to prove myself to the girls was out of reach. _But no, _I thought, _there has to be a way out of this. _I smiled wickedly then, for I had a plan. And it was a plan the girls would be proud of.

"Hey, Jacob!" I said, putting on a happy voice. "Just the man I wanted to talk to!"

_Things are about to get interesting…_

* * *

**_Tell me what you guys think! Was it off? Not funny? Please, input is greatly appreciated. I hope you enjoyed it!_**


	6. Horny, Thorny, and Headline News

**Hey guys! Sorry for the big lapse in updates. I actually don't have an excuse, except for planning out this story wasn't as smooth as I imagined. But, the good thing is, I now know where and what will happen, meaning updates can and will be quicker and smoother, and I can concentrate more on the humor aspect. Unfortunately, this chapter isn't quite up to par, even in my own eyes. But really, it serves its purpose - a dreaded filler chapter. But fear not, that means all of the future ones will be all the better!**

**Thanks for still reading, guys. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.**

**DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I do not own John Tucker Must Die. Someone else does. Who? I do not know.**

* * *

Chapter Six

(_Horny, Thorny, and Headline News)_

"_Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get things done."_

- Madonna

"Swan. My desk. Now."

It was Mr. Persall, on my back, as usual. I walked sheepishly up to his desk as the other students made low "_Oooh_"ing sounds. I stood directly in front of him, daring to meet his eyes. I had the right to! All day in class I had been paying attention to his boring old journalism lectures on how all of us lack skill and retention. _Well, Mr. Persall,_ I had thought numerous times, _at least I have hair._

"Yes, Mr. Persall?" I asked innocently.

"Well, Ms. Swan," he started, and I was floored. I heard collective gasps behind me, and I had to struggle to keep my jaw attached to my face and away from the floor. I mean, who wouldn't be shocked? I think I may well have been the first person he ever directed kindly. "I've noticed that you, my dear, seem to have a lot of unrefined talent." _That lapse of hair must've done something to his brain_, I thought wryly. _He just wants something, and it was obvious._

"Thank you, Mr. Persall. I will work harder to… um… refine my talent," I said, turning to go.

He let out a boom of a laugh. I think it was then that my brain got permanently damaged. Who's hadn't? The whole class had jumped about a foot into the air. None of us had ever heard him laugh before!

"Oh no, no, no, Swan! Talent cannot be refined by work only, but experience, too. Are you following me, Ms. Swan?" he asked, hinting at something that eluded my newly damaged brain. Then it kicked in.

"What?… Oh! OH! Mr.- Mr. Persall, are you serious?! You want _me_ on the _Daily Precip Staff_?!" I gasped. The Daily Precip, Fork High's daily newspaper, was only run by all the popular kids and Mr. Persall himself! Surely a nerd like me would never be allowed on the staff? All thoughts of Mr. Persall wanting something from me disappeared as I took in what he was saying.

"Yes I do, Ms. Swan! I can only hope with your studies and new job you'll have time. You're opinion and skill is highly valued here," he said, smiling oddly.

"Oh, I'll find time, Mr. Persall!" I practically shouted, my nerdy side getting the best of me. "Um, ahem, I'm sorry. Of _course_ I'll have time, sir! I'll be at the meeting, poised and ready, this afternoon!" I promised, much more subtly.

"That sounds great, Bella! You can and Mr. Cullen over there can take a break from your article and go on over to the staff room, where he can show you the ropes. I'm sure you'll catch on quickly," he said happily. My happiness had now dissolved, and in its place was dread. I turned around slowly to see the class staring at me with expressions of awe. Emmett (I believed that was his name) was staring at me with a goofy grin. He packed up his bag and headed to wait at the door.

I gulped and slowly walked to my desk. I packed up everything into my brown corduroy shoulder bag and headed towards the door.

"This will be great, Bella," he said, smiling as he led me to the room. "I know you'll catch on fast, just like Mr. Persall said, and ever since my brother started talking about you, I've been dying to meet you!"

"Edward… talks, abou-about me?" I asked dryly.

"Uh-oh. I'll probably get in trouble for saying that later, but yeah, all the time. I'm sure we both know why though," he joked, winking at me.

I couldn't respond. I was a monster. Here I was, plotting in a fit of rage a battle plan against Edward (against the world, actually), who actually liked me! Surely this couldn't be the same Edward the girls loathed so much?

"I mean, he's been with a lot of girls, but you've got him pretty hung up," Emmett babbled still on as we headed to the newspaper staff room. Maybe it could be him, but maybe he has changed! I thought, desperate for an excuse. Why I needed an excuse, I wasn't sure, but yet I felt so guilty!

Then we walked into the staff room. And all of my guilt went away. There, facing away from us so all I could see was his unusual shade of hair, was Edward, lounging on a desk and giving some seriously passionate mouth-to-mouth to a mysterious blonde. They pulled away, and she was revealed as Mindy Handler.

"Edward?" Emmett asked, kind of shocked.

"Edward," I said, more a derogatory statement tainted with conviction then anything else. Edward had started to smile, but it left his face as soon as he saw me.

"And Mindy," I continued.

"Hi, Bella," Mindy said in a daze from the desk. The top of her blouse was torn open, revealing her hideous Victoria Secret pink bra.

"Mindy?" Emmett asked, still shocked.

"Yes, Emmett, Mindy," any bad mood from the cramps I had before popping a Midol this morning returned full force, with a hint of something else. Jealousy, maybe? No. Definitely not.

"The one who crashed her car because she got confused between the gas pedal and the parking brake?" Emmett asked, still shocked.

"Yes," Mindy replied, blushing and giggling slightly as she frantically tried to redo her blouse buttons.

"Well, it's good to know Edward goes for the smart types," I hissed meanly through clenched teeth. Edward, who had tried to remain impassive the whole time, faced me now, completely shocked. Emmett also stared at me, more shocked then ever. Mindy looked confused as to whether she was just insulted or not.

"That was an insult, Mindy," I said slowly, narrowing my eyes. You now, just to drill in the point which she so brazenly missed.

"Oh! Well then, Bella," Mindy said, her voice full of delayed anger, "I will not stay here just to be insulted!"

"Oh, I'm sure it doesn't matter. Even if you are insulted, you'll never know," I replied hotly, which was completely out of character for me. I was the shy, quiet, nerdy type. Definitely not the type to insult one of the school's most popular femme fatals. No matter how dense they are.

Mindy let out a sound of indignation and marched out of the classroom, her blouse not even all of the way buttoned.

"Edward…" said Emmett, slowly starting to get a grasp on the situation at hand.

"Emmett," said Edward retorted, his eyes still not leaving me. I think he was trying to gauge my reaction. Emmett turned to face me, too. Presumably for the same reasons. Except, well, not even I knew how I was feeling. It was sort of in between terrible anguish, and a sense of stupidity, because I should've known this was coming.

I just figured that usually men waited until they started actually dating before they broke your heart.

I couldn't figure out which one was worse.

"Well, Emmett," I said lowly, somehow finding my voice (though it was very weak compared to my tone with Mindy), "If this is how the newspaper is every day, I don't think I'm quite ready to join." With that, I turned and ran down the hall, my bag hitting my knees the whole way to my truck.

I slammed the door, jammed the key into the ignition, and sped out of the parking lot. I just needed to think. I needed peace at least one time this week. So with that thought, I soon found myself way out at La Push, on the rocky shore of the beach perched on driftwood, watching the midday waves crash and rumble and wash up only inches from my feet.

"Life is so complicated," I sighed to myself, laying down on the wood and using my backpack as a pillow.

"I concur," came a male voice from somewhere above and behind my head.

I screamed and fell of the wood.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you okay?" It was Jacob, and he was frantically trying to help me up and see if I was okay, all the while apologizing repeatedly. I looked down at the damage myself. There was a large, rapidly developing bruise on my forearm where I had landed on a vertical rock, and my ankle looked to be swelling.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, I swear!" Jacob was saying anxiously.

"No, no, it's fine. Just bruised is all," I said, trying to smile brightly, though I was secretly angry that my silence had been disturbed.

"You need to go to the hospital? I can drive you-"

"No! No hospitals," I said, a dark look passing over myself.

"Okay," Jacob replied, noting the look. "No hospitals. The least I could do is let you take off work tonight?"

"No, no, it's okay. I need the money." It was a lie, but I just couldn't miss work tonight. Stage one of the plan had to take place tonight. Especially after the printing room incident today. _Actually_, I thought, _that might make things easier_…

"Maybe you could just put me on register duty or something?"

Jacob smiled his bright, surprisingly attractive smile.

"Of course, Bella. It's the least I could do. So no school, or you weren't feeling well?"

"The latter. Well, kind of."

"What happened?"

"Nothing," I replied, somewhat tersely. I looked at the ground and kicked a rock into the ocean, hoping he'd get the point. He did.

"Oh, okay. So, have you ever been to the place?"

"What place?"

"The Krispy Korner," he said in a voice obviously used on five year olds. Like I was stupid for not knowing all of the insinuations to my new place of torture – I mean work.

"Oh. That place. No, I haven't, I'm kind of hoping it's a step of from the local McDonalds, though."

"Well of course," he said, his mouthing forming a grin, "Especially now that you're working there."

He was definitely flirting with me (even I, a social pariah, could pick up on that), and normally I would've said something to derail him, but with the plan in mind, I let out a girlish giggle. Except, it kind of didn't come out as planned. It came out more likely a dolphin crossed with an ambulance siren, so that couple of nearby birds flew a way. Jacob's smile faltered and his eyes narrowed unintentionally; I could see he had to stop his hands from flying up to cover his eyes.

It was not _that_ bad.

"Oh, sorry. Haha, I guess I just kind of got carried a way," I said lamely, smiling hugely and batting my eyelashes so that my contact moved and my eye started to tear up. This was going just _great_.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned at my reddening eye.

"Oh, sure. Yeah, I'm fine. Just contact problems, you know," I said, trying to brush it off. I nonchalantly raised my finger to my eye to move the contact back into place. Big mistake. Apparently, sometime during my fall, a little tiny piece of driftwood and sand had stuck to my finger – the same finger I used to move my contact.

"Are you sure? You're eye is twitching a lot now," he said, getting more concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, just a little sand," I lied. My eye was really starting to sting. _Badly_.

"Um, actually, Jacob, on second thought do you think maybe just see each other tonight at work because my eye is really hurting?"

"No, Bella, you can't just go home, let alone drive. Here, I'll drive you to the hospital."

This time, I didn't object. My eyelid was swelling big time.

_What a great way to kick off the plan_.

"Agh, hurry!" I couldn't help but shout as Jacob stopped to pick up my backpack. When he had it, I turned around, closed my eyes, and started running towards the parking lot. I then proceeded to trip over a rock.

"Oof!"

"Oh, Bella! Are you okay?"

And so this happened several times on our way to the parking lot – me running, then tripping, Jacob freaking out and helping me up, him offering to guide me to the car, me getting impatient and running again, etc.

It was a good thing we were on our way to the hospital anyway.

"Hurry, unlock it!" I screeched, my eye still stinging.

"Bella, that's your truck."

Oh.

"Come on, over here."

After we got safely inside his car, going to the hospital was quick and easy. Unfortunately for me, Jacob decided against going to the La Push hospital and instead went to the one in Forks.

"It's closer!" he promised.

"_Nooo_," I wailed pathetically.

So I was acting like a 5 year old, but I did not need Carlisle Cullen, father of Emmett and Edward Cullen, seeing me in this shape.

Especially after the events in the paper room.

But Jacob ignored me, and it turned out that he was right. The Forks hospital was closer to the outer reaches of La Push, where we were, then the La Push hospital, located in the middle of the reservation.

The secretary took one look at me (bruised limbs, puffy eye, and mumbling "No, no, no!") and immediately rushed me into the ER room. Dr. Cullen, in all of his glory, arrived seconds later. Seeing his angelic face definitely soothed me some.

"What happened?" he asked Jacob, clearly seeing I was in no shape to answer.

"Her hands were sandy, and she tried to fix her contact, I think. Then she started running with her eyes closed."

Dr. Cullen's lips tightened, like he didn't believe the story, but turned to me anyway.

"Open your eye," he said in a doctor's voice.

I obliged.

"Open meaning separate the lids," he joked.

I groaned, but opened it as wide as I could without having the urge to shut it again quickly.

In one fluid motion of his slender glove fingers, he had the contact out, and the wood shard with it.

"Now open your eye wide and look into this spout," he said calmly, pointing to a silver bowl like thing on a pedestal. It was one of those things you rinsed your eyes out with in science classes if you were thick enough to somehow get chemicals in your eyes.

But then again, I guess putting your dirty finger into your eye wasn't too smart either.

After several seconds of the spout, my eye felt much, much better.

"Better?" Dr. Cullen asked.

I nodded fervently. I just wanted to get out of here.

"Okay, wear this for now," he said, handing me a huge black eye patch, "until your eye loses some of the sensitivity. Now to look at those bruises."

And so it was that I found my leg strapped and suspended in a cast, my wrist in a sling, and my left eye covered by a huge, ugly patch.

I was willing to bet money that this wasn't exactly _posh_.

"Mr. Black, I'm just going to need to ask you some questions for the patient's chart while she recuperates. Just come into my office, it'll only take a bit," said Dr. Cullen.

"Okay," Jacob said tersely, unwilling to leave my side.

I sighed when they left. I was alone in this ward, and to make things worse, anyone walking through the front hospital doors could see me. And it wasn't like I could move. Charlie was on his way, though, and I could only hope that he got here and picked me up before any students of Forks High decided to drop by and visit a sick in-law.

I laid my head back on the uncomfortable hospital pillow, pondering over how horrible the day had gone and how it couldn't get any worse. Then the hospital doors slid open, and Edward Cullen walked through them, backpack casually slung over his shoulder.

_Oh God, kill me now_, I thought, wishing with every fiber of my mortal being that he didn't see me. But of course, I was the first thing he laid his topaz eyes on.

It was kind of flattering, actually, seeing his eyes widen in shock and him rushing toward me, all of the other female nurses looking jealous. A person could've actually mistaken us for a couple, had they not know any better. Surprisingly, I didn't mind.

_No_, I thought, _think of Mindy Handler._

"Bella? Are you okay?"

He was staring at me anxiously, but he didn't wait for my answer.

"What happened? Where'd you go after you left school this morning?"

I almost told him everything, but then I remembered today, and the plan. I sighed loudly – I was going to have to be mean.

"Nowhere that concerns you."

His eyebrows furrowed, and he frowned slightly.

"What? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Enough with the questions, please. Just go feel up a nurse or something," I said coldly, trying to turn my back to him. I know it was a low hit, but he had to go, and I had to be mean. It was part of the plan.

Even if I felt lower then I ever, ever had before.

"I'm – I'm sorry," he said, tripping over his words. He was obviously shocked by my words. In truth, so was I. "Today, with Mindy, it didn't – it wasn't – it meant nothing."

"Why are you explaining yourself to me, Edward? Incase you haven't noticed, we aren't a couple."

Despite my deepest, darkest desire.

His eyes hardened then, and previous emotion left his face.

"You're right. See you around school," he turned his back on me and walked quickly out of the hospital, all previous errands forgotten. One nurse close to the doorway, who had obviously been listening, shook her head at me, eyes narrowed.

Like I didn't feel bad enough.

Sometime later, Carlisle and Jacob came back, and then Charlie came, too. They asked me questions, and I answered, but I didn't really pay attention.

I knew I shouldn't have felt bad – even though Edward and I hadn't been a couple, we had had something. Chemistry, at the very least. And today, making out with Mindy was, well, _wrong_. But did that gave me reason to be a horrid person to him in return? Well, of course it did. Did that mean I _should've_ been a horrid person to him? Well, sort of. Right?

"Are you okay, Bells? You seem kind of out of it," Charlie asked, but then he realized the patch and the casts and all, and quieted down. But I knew he knew there was something extra.

"Yeah, I'm fine, dad," I said, sighing again.

"Well," I corrected myself a second later, though stopping midway.

"Yeah, Bells?"

"I think I need more Midol."

Charlie blanched, but I ignored him and focused on the positive: prophase of 'The Plan' was done.

Pretty soon, the girls and Jacob and this whole mess could finally be over. Because in only a few simple phases, Edward Cullen would be _split_.


	7. Dreams, Teams, and Screaming In Pillows

**Sorry for the HUGE time between updates! But guess what? I updated BOTH of my stories today. Yes, people, both of my stories are back on track, so expect updates sooner rather than later. Hope you like it!**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight/New Moon (Stephenie Meyer does), nor do I own John Tucker Must Die.

* * *

Chapter Seven

_(Dreams, Teams, and Screaming In Pillows)_

"_Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis."_

_-_ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Bella, I love you."

"I love you, too Edward."

He pulled me closer to his surprisingly solid chest so that I could pick up my legs and curl them on his lap. He smelled delicious.

"Oh, Edward," I sighed, knotting my fingers in his crispy white collar.

"Yes, Bella?"

"It's just – _nothing_," I sighed again, not able to say the words that needed to be spoken.

"It's okay," he cooed. "Just relax. Let your hair down."

His long fingers slowly pulled out the band that was holding my hair in a tight ponytail. The freed hair cascaded around my face. It worked – I already felt soothed.

"Never let me go?" I whispered.

"Never," he replied, before slowly bringing his lips down to mine.

---

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

My alarm clock sounded, loud and clear. As usual, I barely restrained from entering cardiac arrest.

I got out of bed and stretched, smiling. The sun was out – it was a pretty morning.

"Bells?" Charlie called softly, knocking on my door.

"Yes, dad?"

He poked his head through my door, his eyebrows raised.

"What?" I asked, self-conscious.

"Are you-?" he faltered, stunned. "Are you awake? And _smiling_? It's a school day!"

"Yeah, so?" I responded, confused.

"You _never _wake up at the first ring. And you certainly are never smiling!"

Good point. Why _was _I in such a good mood?

"Um, I think I had a good dream," I said, not remembering what I dreamt about in the first place.

"Oh, okay," he said. Before he walked back out and shut the door I heard him muttering, "I wish I had those kinds of dreams".

I hurried over to my small bedside table and dug through the drawer until I came across my dream journal. I flipped to the most recent page to see if I had scrawled anything in there over night, but there were no new entries.

I sighed, frustrated, and plopped back down onto my bed. Slowly I raised my hand to my head. If I had contracted some sort of a disease, it'd be best to find out early. Oddly, my head felt normal temperature, and my pulse was in fine tune. I _never _forgot my dreams. Especially none that were this, this – _enlightening_.

I hadn't smiled in ages, much less at six o'clock in the morning.

Slowly I got back off the bed and shuffled to my closet.

Thanks to my elusive dream, I had more then enough time to get ready for school today.

---

"Hey, Bella!" called a grinning Mike Newton from the school parking spot next to mine.

"Hey, Mike," I replied, smiling in return. Seeing my cheerful response as a reassurance, he hurried up to my side to discuss the horror that was Mr. Persall's latest essay assignment. Even though we had virtually never spoken before (and I knew that the only reason we did now was because of my updated wardrobe), we talked as if we were good friends.

But then Mike brought up the one subject that no mood could lighten – my new job.

"So I hear you're going to start at The Krispy Korner," he said approvingly. I sullenly nodded, but he only noticed the confirmation. "Congrats! That's a coveted position around here."

"I guess. But hold on! Did you say The _Krispy_ Korner? I thought it was _Krusty_?" I questioned, remembering the term Charlie had used when he first informed me of my new position. Mike laughed in response.

"That's the dieter's term, I guess you could say," he explained with a secret smile.

"What's with the smile?" I demanded, panicky. "Is there some kind of bad taboo on the place?"

"Of course not, Bella. Relax," he grinned. "It's just that... Well, everything they sell is sort of _fried_. You can imagine why the _Weight Watchers_ among us aren't too fond."

Suddenly, I was overcome horror - for me, and for the poor, unsuspecting customers who would attend the restaurant.

"So there are- there are _deep fryers_? And- Oh, God, Mike! Bubbling, hot oil!" It was then that I knew I was doomed. My good mood from the morning had disappeared, and in its place was horrible, seedy panic.

"Yeah? It'll be fine, Bella! Why are you freaking out?" he said, flustered.

"Mike," I said, my voice straining calm. I grabbed his head and made him look into my eyes. "I am a _klutz_. I can cook at home, in a kitchen, by myself, but if you put me into a busy, fast, mega-kitchen with hot, bubbling _oil_- Well, it is _not _safe!"

He laughed again, which was irritating. "Bella, you'll be fine. But class is about to start, so we better hurry up."

Class, despite being the last thing on my mind, was still important if I ever planned on getting Charlie off my back. I made it into my seat with seventeen seconds to spare.

"Ms. Swan," said Mr. Persall from the front of the room, smiling warmly. "We missed you at the meeting yesterday afternoon."

Gulp. As far as I was concerned, the newsroom was the _last _place I wanted to be. Not that the memories by themselves weren't bad enough, but being there with Emmett Cullen? _Edward's brother?_ A tad too awkward for my taste.

"Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Persall, but I don't think I'll be able to make any of the afternoon-" I started to lie, but he cut me off.

"No problem! Our more important meetings are during Study Hall now anyway!" he smiled widely.

"Oh," I said, struggling to maintain my fake happiness even though I was mentally banging my head against the desk, "great."

---

Lunch was going perfectly normal – Tina, Bev, Vicky, and I all sitting at a secluded table, talking and gossiping. I hadn't told them about the whole newsroom thing, so they didn't quite get why I was going at the challenge with renewed vigor.

"It's just time to do it, and do it right," I explained over and over.

The girls would've pressured me more, but the Cullens were right across the cafeteria. _Speaking of the Cullens_, I frantically noted in my head, for Emmett and Edward Cullen were both casually strolling across the cafeteria – heading straight at us.

"I need to go to the restroom," I muttered, by Tina held onto my knee strongly from under the table. I glared at her, but she was smiling brightly at Edward.

"Ladies," Edward said suavely, and all of the girls giggled and waved. Except me of course, for looking at Edward's face, I remembered something. That amazing, breathtaking dream I had this morning?

I realized, with mock horror, that it had all been about Edward. And let me tell you, it did _not _do his face justice.

"Edward, Emmett," I murmured.

It got quiet after that, until Emmett cleared his throat loudly and nudged Edward with his elbow.

"Right, of course," Edward said, looking at Emmett with a wicked grin. I suddenly felt very uneasy, and as it turned out, I had every right to be.

Standing before my plastic blue lunch chair, Edward grabbed my hand and lowered himself to one knee. The whole lunchroom was now quiet, and staring at us raptly. The girls (plus Emmett) all looked stunned, Edward was still grinning, and I, of course, was cherry red.

_Mental note: Next time at the Thrift Way, pick up some extra strong tan-in-a-can._

"Edward…?" I asked hesitantly, begging for the scene to end. Even teachers were staring. Charlie would be informed of this without a doubt.

"Isabella Swan," he started formally, "though I have known you for only a short period of time, I foolishly put myself into an… _uncomfortable_ situation, along with my brother here Emmett, and you. I deeply regret any pain or trouble I might have caused, and I feel it my supreme duty to make it up to you. Bella, will you go out with me this Saturday night?"

"Well," I said shakily, knowing all I had to was say yes, but wanting to say something witty. "I don't usually go out on school nights, but I guess I can make an exception."

I smiled alluringly, proud, but after a moment's consideration…

"Oh, no wait," I added, blushing furiously. Edward just went on.

"She says yes!" He boomed, and the cafeteria, surprisingly, broke out into applause. I wondered if they put something into the school's air vents, or if being voyeuristic and creepy was just a side effect of growing up with minimal sunlight.

I was about to walk away with some lame excuse like dumping my tray, when Edward picked himself up and brought his God-like mouth right next to my ear.

"This Saturday, I can assure you that you won't be disappointed," he said, his sweet breath tickling my ear.

Like being disappointed was ever a worry.

"Okay," I whispered back. He stood straight, kissed my hand, winked at me coyly, and walked away.

"See you Study Hall, Bella," Emmett said, looking awkward, before going after Edward. "That was _not _necessary!" he hissed, loudly enough so that I overheard.

Smiling hugely, I turned back to my table, only to meet the stunned gazes of Vicky, Bev, and Tina.

"_Oh. My. God," _said Bev, open mouth and wide eyed.

"What did you _do_? How- _You did it_!" cried Vicky.

"Good job, New Girl," said Tina, staring at me strangely. The nickname, however offensive considering I was here before they were, seemed to stick.

"Thanks," I said, smiling tentatively.

I made a mental check mark: Phase Two was _done_.

---

I slowly opened the door to the newsroom, feeling much more comfortable with the idea now that things had been sort of patched up with Edward/Emmett. That feeling dissolved as soon as people saw me enter.

Breaking into applause once again, and even more surprisingly – dog hoots, they seemed ecstatic to see me. I blushed, idling by the door. Emmett waved me over to where he was sitting at the large U-shaped table.

"Thanks," I whispered as I sat down next to him, the cheering subsided. People were still staring, though.

"No problem. It's all kind of my fault anyway," he whispered back. I had no clue what he was talking about, but I didn't get time to question him. Right when I sat down, Mr. Persall launched into the details of an end-of-the-year project we were to be starting for the paper.

"This is big guys – _very _big. What we are going to do is a huge bash for graduation – which is exactly," he checked the calendar on the wall, "three months away. What I'm planning is having an Archive Team dig up all of the old photos they can on Forks, Forks High, everything. We'll get the pictures, and cover all of the gym walls with them. We'll have a stage, balloons, and the whole sha-bang. We'll need people working on slide shows, biographies of influential towns people, everything. This is my last year as head of the school paper, and I want to go out with a bang."

After that little introduction, it was impossible not to be pumped for the project. I was happily listening, chatting, discussing, and enjoying the environment – I now knew why being on the staff was such a coveted position. But then it took a turn for the worst.

"I nominate Bella Swan for being in charge of the highschool look back! It'd be a hit to hearit from a new girl's perspective! Someone who _wasn't_ born in Forks!" someone shouted randomly.

Suddenly there was a chorus of "Yeah!"s and "Mhm!"s. I tried feebly to point out that Emmett was new too, but before I knew it Mr. Persall had my name written on the board in big, red, blocky letters.

"Assigned!" he cried out. Cheers erupted from the group.

It's amazing how high a girl's popularity goes when the most gorgeous man on the planet makes a show of asking her out in the cafeteria.

"Okay, people, great meeting! We'll continue next week!" Mr. Persall shouted a half an hour later. We slowly started filing out of the newsroom, but not before I saw a sullen looking Jessica Stanley glaring at me and whispering to her friend.

_You really can't please everyone_, I thought on my way out, but that didn't make me feel any better.

---

When I got home, I quickly put a large pan of water on the stove to boil and grabbed the phone. Dialing Bev's number quickly, I thought of how I could ask without her freaking out. In the end, I decided it was impossible, and best to get it done quickly.

"Hey, Bella, what's up?" She asked happily, answering on the first ring.

"Um, listen Bev, I don't want you to get _too _excited or anything," I started cautiously, "but-"

"YES!" She cried.

"How'd you know what I was-"

"I will definitely help you get ready for your date! I can envision it now – you'll look so _beautiful_!"

While I made raviolis for Charlie and I, Bev blabbed on about every tiny, miniscule detail about what I'd wear Saturday. Even perfume. Even what kind of panties

"Bev! It's not like it matters what color panties I wear, he won't end up seeing them!" I yelped in surprise.

"You never know, Bella," said Bev, completely serious.

"_No_! I am _not _Lindsay Lohan, contrary to what you may think!" I quipped defensively.

"Bella, have you been living in a cave the past year? Lindsay doesn't _wear _underwear, _hello_!" she replied, her tone sounding utterly incredulous.

I didn't bother pointing out to her that whether or not Hollywood starlets chose to wear undergarments or not was not top-priority information for me, but instead apologized, told her I'd see her on Saturday, and hung up.

Then it was time for damage control. Taking out the student manual I had gotten on my first day at Forks High, I quickly scanned the directory for the number for Jessica Stanley. I had found it and called it within a minute – the student directory wasn't exactly _large_.

"Hello?" said the familiar voice.

"Hey, Jessica! It's Bella, you know, from school. I just wanted to say-" I started, my voice completely soft and kind. Jessica, however, didn't seem to notice.

"How'd you get this number?" she asked rudely, interrupting me.

"Um, the student directory," I said warily. I was _not_ looking for confrontation.

"Oh," she grunted.

"Look, Jessica, if you want my part of the staff thing, you can go ahead and have it. I'm sure you're a much better writer and deserve it much more than I do. I really am not trying to make enemies here," I explained.

"Well you should of thought of that before you came here and started ruining people's lives," she said, her voice unnecessarily mean.

"_What are you talking about_?" I asked, shocked and confused.

"If you don't get it, I'm not going to bother explaining it to you, _Swan_," she hissed.

"Excuse me? Jessica, you have _no _right to be rude when all I'm trying to do is-" I started, but this time the doorbell cut me off.

"I have _no right_? _I HAVE NO RIGHT?_" she was practically shouting in my ear. Holding the phone about half a foot away from my head (and still hearing her clearly), I ran to the door to answer it.

There, standing on my stoop in a brightly colored, incredibly tacky uniform was none other than Jacob Black.

"Ready for your first shift?" he asked, smiling widely.

From in the kitchen, I heard the raviolis on the stove boiling. I had forgotten to turn the temperature down. On top of that, Jessica was _still _screaming in my ear, and by the looks of it, Bev was trying to call me again.

"Tonight? Are you serious?" I asked, my eyes wide.

"Yeah," Jacob said, his smile faltering, "did you forget?"

Hating to make him sad, I bluffed.

"No, of course not! Hold on, just let me go change," I said, smiling brightly and leaving the door open so he could come in.

"Bella! ISABELLA SWAN?" Shouted Jessica angrily from the phone. Glaring at it, I threw it into the pot of boiling raviolis. Not a good idea, especially since I had just ruined a perfectly good phone _and _dinner, but definitely satisfying. I turned off the stove and ran up stairs, hurrying.

But before I could change or do anything, I had to think of a way to quickly relieve the stress. Coming up with nothing, I snatched my pillow off the bed, held it up to my face, and screamed as loud as I could.

That was it: I couldn't deal with nights like these anymore. It was about time I just let my hair down, stopped resisting, and _had fun_.

Watch out, Forks, I thought with a devilish smile. _There's a new Swan in town._

Then, with a derisive giggle, I added:

_And she's out for blood_.

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**Hope you guys liked it!! It gets exciting from here on, I swear. xD Reviews are always welcomed!**


	8. Strudels, Flames, and Playing the Game

**See what I mean about updating quickly! Hopefully, this will be how it is permanently from now on! So this chapter basically gethers up the reins. My goal here was to take up some of the unimportant loose ends in the past chapters and move on with them, so when it ends, it all ties up. Hope you guys enjoy it!!**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight OR New Moon. Stephenie Meyer does.

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Chapter Eight

(_Strudels. Flames, and Playing the Game_)

"_Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to"_

"Read my mind!"

"No!"

"Do it!"

"Dude, I said _no_."

"Well I said _do it_!"

"Are you forcing him to read your mind? Ew, Q, that's like, _mind rape_."

"Shut it."

"No, _you _shut it!"

"Dude, was I even talking to you! Didn't think so!"

"I can answer whoever I want. I'm psychic."

"So then read my mind."

"No!"

"Q, I think you actually have to _own _a mind to get it read," Jacob joked, earning him a punch from Quil.

I was currently riding in my company minivan (You heard me right, _company minivan_), sitting in the back row next to Jacob. Two of my coworkers, and apparent friends of Jacob, Quil and Embry, were sitting in the row in front of us, and riding shotgun was another coworker, Zoey. The restaurant manager Alfred was driving the van.

Not even I knew exactly how this was happening.

---

"Bella? Are you okay?" Jacob called from the bottom of the stairs. "I think I heard a scream!"

"I'm fine, Jacob, I'll be right down," I called back, frantically going through my closet. It was usually organized and clean, but when my wardrobe had suddenly doubled in size thanks to three particular vampires, organization became the last thing on my mind.

Spotting something ugly and golden yellow in a pile by my hamper, I let out a sigh of relief. The uniform vest was truly the only mustard yellow thing I owned. Right next to it were the black slacks, the white polo, and the Krispy Korner hat. I put on the uniform in seconds, not bothering to check my lip-gloss.

I grabbed my small, nondescript purse and was just about to run out of my room when I heard a loud honk outside the house. I ran to the window, parted the curtains, and gasped. Idling at the end of my driveway was a large, white, minivan. _With a gigantic logo of a fried doughnut, chicken wing, and French-fry floating on a boat_.

"Jacob!" I screeched. He came running into my room moments later. "What is _that_?"

"The company van," he replied, smiling. Then he saw my look of distress. "Oh, well you see our manager Alfie decided that to make sure we all come to work, he'd bring around the van to pick us all up and drop us all off! Not to mention the fact that some of us don't have licenses."

"I have to ride in a _minivan_, fully equipped with ugly logo and all, with a bunch of unlicensed kids and my _manager_? To a _fast food restaurant_?" I asked in disbelief.

His face crumpled.

"Oh, well, um, I guess I can try and talk to Alfie for you, I mean in case it isn't your scene or anything," he said, looking down and blushing.

I knew this was completely going against my "new Bella" thing, but he looked like he was about to cry! Sighing, I told him the van was perfect.

"Really?" he asked, looking at me with his eyes shining.

"Yeah," I said, managing a smile.

The horn honked again.

"I guess we better go," he added.

"After you."

---

"Jacob, I do _not _appreciate that!" Quil said, feigning outrage.

"Seriously, Jake, you're going to hurt someone's feelings if you keep that attitude up!" Embry added solemnly.

Both of them cracked up laughing. Zoey turned back in her seat to face me, smiling and rolling her eyes. She had the norm pale white skin (that was custom unless you were from the Reservation), shiny brown hair with natural tints of mahogany and chestnut, with large, crystal clear blue eyes. She was my age, but much prettier. She had the hair that hung a little past shoulder length, and though always in casual disarray, still looked fantastic.

"You learn to get used to it," she joked.

"I hope," I said back, my mood gloomy despite the fun atmosphere. I sighed audibly and rested my head on my window – I could tell my poor mood was affecting the others, but frankly, I didn't care.

I watched morosely as a cool blue convertible pulled up next to the van. Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, Lauren Mallory, and Jessica Stanley were all inside of it.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, noooo," I groaned, hiding my head between my knees as I heard cracking sounds hit the sit of the van. Mike and them, they were egging the van.

"Hey, stop it! You kids, stop it!" Alfie was trying to scream through Zoey's open window.

Once their cartons were emptied, they drove off, laughing loudly.

"Dang kids," muttered Alfie. "Quil, you're cleaning that up when we get to the restaurant."

"Me! Why?" Quil called aloud, dismayed.

"Because you're a busboy, and I'm telling you to _bus_ our van."

"That's so lame! Embry is a busboy, too!" Quil whined.

"Hey, don't bring me into this!" Embry said, hands raised. "I serve tables, too."

"Why'd they do it?" I asked, interrupting their bickering. My question was met with silence.

"Well, we aren't exactly the most popular fast food place in town," Jacob explained slowly.

"There's only like two total, Jacob," I said, raising my eyebrow.

"Well, yeah, you have a point Bella, but see – we don't allow the whole 'skating in the parking lot' type thing. You can see why we aren't exactly met warmly by the local youth," Embry continued for Jacob.

Ah. So not only was I working for a van wielding, friar using, fast food shack, but it was also prone to _egging_?

I'd have to give Charlie an extra hug when I got home.

---

"So this is friar one. Only circular things, like doughnuts and marshmallows, go in here. This is friar two, where we put the long things, like French fries and churros," Alfie was explaining to me how to use the eight (Yes, I said _eight_) friars in my station.

"Hey Quil," Embry called out jokingly, "I guess that means you can't put your you-know-what in friar two anymore!"

Quil threw a package of frozen fries at him.

"This here is friar three, my personal favorite, where we put the chicken! I sometimes call her Henrietta," Alfie continued, laughing at himself creepily.

"Haha," I said, my eyes bulging at his craziness.

"Then friar four is for chocolate, friar five is for ice cream, and friar six is for veggies, friar seven for fruits, and friar eight for everything else. Though that one needs cleaning every night before your shift ends. It's been known to have some crazy cockroach parties!" he laughed at his joke again. Still creepy, and still incredibly crazy.

"Now, I know this seems confusing, but to help you through, I've devised a little song," he went on.

"A song?" I asked, trying to keep my face looking normal and devoid of all of the horror I was feeling inside.

"Yes! Ahem," he cleared his voice.

"One is _doughnuts_,

Two is long sticks,

Not for the little,

Smaaall things.

Three's my favorite,

It's for chiiicken!

Four is for chooocolate!

Five's for ice cream,

Six for veggie tails,

Seven for gay guys,

And eight is fooor

Everything else!

Now you know about

My little friars,

And I hope that you

Won't forget!

If you do,

I'll fire you,

You crazy little

_Went-_"

Zoey started clapping before he could finish the last line. The jingle, sang to the tune of some grand Christmas song often heard in the commercials for action comedy movies, was haunting, especially when Alfie's creepy voice hit a falsetto, or a soprano.

I shivered, thinking of it.

"Got it?" he asked brusquely. I nodded. "Good. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me!"

I heard the door slam shut, then the small little click of a lock.

After that, we all burst out laughing.

The little bell on top of the door rang, and a small, pale skin Quileute girl entered. She had Ugly Betty-esque hair and thick, black framed glasses.

"Sorry I'm late," she whispered to us all as she ran to the back of the kitchen, hung up her coat on the hook, and ran back, punching in her time card on the way. Taking her position at the register, she straightened her hat and stood, ready for customers. "I missed the van."

Delilah was her name, and according to Jacob, she was the antisocial one of the group. She also kept her purse under the front counter, by the register, which was apparently against regulations. Alfie didn't know.

"So this is everyone?" I asked about thirty minutes later, when we were all perched at our stations (except for Quil, who was out washing down the van), waiting for a customer.

"Yup. Just you, Quil, Jacob, Embry, Delilah, and me. And Alfred," Zoey said, completely laid back.

"Huh," I said, tapping my hands absently on the metal ledge of the table holding the many deep friars.

"Do you mind?" Delilah snapped sharply after a moment.

"Oh, sorry," said, balling my hands into fists.

"Excuse her," said Zoey, glaring at Delilah. "She's a little socially awkward."

"I am _not_!" huffed Delilah in response. The door tinkled again, and in came Quil.

"Yeah, Delilah, you kinda' are," he said, smirking.

"Oh, well if you say so, Quil," she replied, practically drooling.

Zoey shot me a knowing glance, while Embry and Jacob tried to hide their snickers in the back of the kitchen.

It seemed like hours before we finally got a customer. She was a middle-aged woman, looking very tired and possibly pregnant. I could see her mini van full of unruly kids from my perch at the friars.

"Welcome to the Krispy Korner, home of the-," Delilah started, smiling, but the woman cut her off.

"Yeah, I'd like um four Krispy Krispered Chicken meals, with a large Krispy Koko Bar, and four Krispy Komplete Apple strudels. Oh and with five cokes," she ordered.

While Delilah rang her up, Zoey began filling the drinks while Jacob started preparing the To-Go bags. Embry came over to the friars with me since it was such a large order.

You see, unlike other fast food restaurants, the Krispy Korner has to fry all of their foods fresh. Or else the food tastes, for lack of a better word, like crud. Old fried food is _not_ the way to get customers to come back.

So I took over the apple strudels while Embry started frying the chicken.

"So is an _apple_ strudel a seven, or eight?" I questioned, unsure.

"Eight," said Embry confidently.

I dropped one into the steaming hot deep friar. It made a satisfying _plop_. A goofy grin spread across my face, and I couldn't help laugh at the memories that came to mind of making pastries with my mom in the kitchen when I was little. _Plop_, _plop_. That was always great fun. _PLOP._

"OUCH!" I cried, causing Embry to jump and drop in too many chicken fingers.

"OUCH!" he cried out also.

Call it basic physics, or common sense, but as it turns out, you never, _ever_ want to drop in a piece of food from too high over a deep friar, because when that steaming oil comes splashing out, _it burns_. And it burns bad.

More physics: when you drop a whole bag of _chicken_ into the deep friar, from high up, the splash is not only hot, but _big._

I screamed as the mini tsunami of burning oil headed toward my face. _Fwam _was the noise my burning hot metal spatula made as I swung in front of my face to ward off the droplets. It would've been a good tactic, too, had I not released the spatula.

"Oh my God!" Zoey screamed as the spatula made a B-line for her face. Grabbing Delilah's purse from under the counter, she held it wide open in front of her to shield her from what would certainly be a second-degree burn.

"No!" I shouted, spotting the leaking bottle of perfume in the purse, moments before the spatula hit.

The spatula landed in the purse with a solid _thud_. Zoey, looking pleased with herself, zipped the purse back up, set it on a couple of cardboard boxes, and wiped her brow.

"There," she announced, smiling.

Then the purse burst into flames. Perfume plus hot oil was, needless to say, flammable.

"My purse!" Delilah screamed, but before anyone could do or say anything, the alarm went off, the sprinkler system shot down from the ceiling, and Alfie came running out of his office, hair a mess and his button and fly undone.

"What the fu-" he started.

We were interrupted by the sound of fire trucks.

---

"That could've happened to _anyone_, Bella," Charlie said for the hundredth time on the way home. I was sopping wet and miserable, wrapped in a thin towel.

When we had gotten out of the restaurant, the boys were all laughing hysterically. Delilah was sobbing, Zoey looked amazed, and I myself was holding back tears.

Alfie was mad beyond belief.

"Who did it?" he screamed. "_Who did it_!"

No one said anything, and I realized how much I liked Embry. Jacob, Quil, and Zoey were oblivious to how it happened, Embry knew but wouldn't rat me out, and Delilah, who _had_ seen it, was too much of a wreck to talk.

"_It was a Prada!_" she moaned again and again, taking us all by surprise (we had not figured her to be the label type).

The firefighters had rushed in, reporting that only a few of the stored foods and the refrigerator had been destroyed. Charlie and another cop had pulled up in their cruisers moments later. Upon seeing me (shaking, hair wet, mascara running), he had told the other office he'd go back into the station later so he could drive me home.

"But it _doesn't_!" I replied to Charlie in the cruiser, sobbing. "Normal people do not day dream while frying apple strudels, and subsequently burn down their place of work!"

Then because the moment utterly demanded it, I began hitting my head against my window.

"Bella, stop it," Charlie said firmly. "It isn't the end of the world."

"Yeah, but if this gets out, it is the end of my social life!" I quipped.

"About that social life-" Charlie started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Not to worry now, Dad, thanks to the job _you _signed me up for!" I huffed, indignant.

"Well you'll need the job _I_ signed you up for to pay for another phone!" he countered.

I groaned. He was right, and it was about time I owned up to it. All of my whining lately, all of my mood swings, well, I had been making this whole _thing_, with Edward and the girls, much more difficult than it should've been. It really should be just an in and out operation. It was about time I made that happen.

---

Charlie could only drop me off, since he was still on duty. I was perfectly fine with that - I needed the time alone. When I got inside, the first thing I did was curl up on my bed. What I had thought in the car was right. Here I was, trying to fight a Medusa with only one sword. The many snakes on her head kept biting me and poisoning me, and I was allowing it, because in all actuality, there was nothing else I could really do. Well, I now realized, there _was _something else to do. Instead of attacking each individual snake, couldn't I just go for her neck?

Bad analogy, but good plan.

I glanced at my clock after my little epiphany – it was the twelfth, a Wednesday. The Sadie Hawkins dance was in about three weeks (why we all had to cut out the cupids so early, I did not know), and Liv Schreiber's Masquerade ball thing was in about two. Vicky _still _wanted to pick out my costume for that.

Suddenly, there were taps on my window. Since there were no trees in my front yard, I knew it couldn't be wind, nor could a normal person scale the front of my house. That could only mean a vampire. The girls? Maybe Edward or Emmett?

Pulling my robe tight around me, I tiptoed over to the window. I pulled open the blinds and opened the window, only to see a face I didn't recognize. I shrieked.

"It's okay!" the male voice soothed, though he too looked panic. He had beautiful dark hair and golden eyes, so that at least I could tell he didn't plan on making a meal out of me.

"Who- who _are _you?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"Well, if you're Bella Swan," he replied brusquely, "I'm here to help you."

And so was my life, where not even setting my workplace aflame was enough surprises for one day.

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**Reviews are always welcomed!**


	9. Strangers, Dates, and All That We Needed

**Hey guys! Thanks for waiting! Vacation is over, and my uploader seems to be working! Next chapter is the super long one, too, so keep an eye out. I also realized that I now have over 200 reviews, and I'm only 9 chapters in! Thank you SO much for reviewing, and more importantly, reading! I really hope you enjoy the rest of it!**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or John Tucker Must Die.

* * *

Chapter Nine

(_Strangers, Dates, and All That We Needed_)

"_Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats"_

"Well," I said, stuttering in surprise, "I'm her, I guess."

"You guess?" he was smirking, and it was stunning. His golden topaz eyes shone like constellations all of their own. He had dark black hair that was styled in a perfect, semi-spiked disarray. His chin, contrary to Edward's strong one, was softer, but slightly pointed. He was beautiful.

"Well, yeah," I murmured, embarrassed. Then I noticed he was still perched on the outside wall and my window ledge in some weird fashion. "Come in!"

Was it wrong to invite strange, beautiful men into your room at night? When your police officer dad was asleep in the room across the hall?

For some reason, I figured it was.

But hey – maybe this was my whole "caution to the wind" plan in action. _If it is_, I thought, _then this plan is definitely working_.

"Sit down, I guess," I said, shrugging lightly. He sat in the rocking chair in the corner.

"Another guess. Man, Bella, what _are_ you sure about?" he teased gently.

"Well, that I have no clue who you are or why you came to my window," I replied, smiling at the easy conversation. I liked him already. Smiling in return, he extended his hand.

"The name is Isaac. Though most people call me Zac."

"Isabella, though I prefer Bella. But you seem to have already known that," Despite my comfort around him, I was still suspicious. His handshake reassured me a little.

"Well, I guess I'm here to be your mediator," he said, seeming to have a hard time summing up the situation.

"Mediator? You're here to mediate me? Between what?" I asked, still confused. For a minute, I had feared that I was dead.

"Well, you see, it's kind of hard to describe. I know you know the Cullens, and the girls. Right?" he asked, keeping it simple.

"Right," I said, nodding along.

"I'm acquainted with both of them, see. And when I came here to Forks to visit them, I figured out what they were putting you through. I guess I don't find it fair, and I… I guess I thought… I thought you might like someone who's on _your _side, for once," he said, seeming pleased when he put it all into perspective.

I could feel my cheeks turn a slight red color, but I was smiling. I was touched, I guess, that he would bother. Despite the fact that I had never met him in my life.

"You know, that really means a lot to me. Sometimes it feels just like a game of really, _really_ brutal tug-of-war, and I'm all caught in the middle!" I said, throwing my arms into the air. It felt so liberating to be able to gush to an unbiased source who knew everything I did, and maybe more. He smiled, seeming to be pleased, too.

"I figured. But you know, there is only one thing I ask," he replied, his voice getting kind of soft.

"Yes?"

"Well, I guess it'd be better if neither of them knew I was here. The Cullens and the girls, I mean. They might not appreciate the 'intrusion'," he explained.

"I won't!" I promised quickly.

"Humans are so trustworthy!" Zac cooed, laughing.

"Well, we don't have an indefinite amount of years to speculate!" I joked back. "Besides, there's something safe about you, that I know I can trust. Maybe it's the fact that your eyes are gold. I'm not sure."

He smiled again, and it was radiant. "Well, I'm glad you can trust me. I trust you, too, Bella. And together, well, I think we can blow their minds."

"I like the sound of that," and truly, I did.

"You should sleep now. I just wanted to meet you tonight – to establish things. The sooner the better, right?"

"Yeah, I'm glad you did. I think I can sleep easy tonight know Team Swan is another player up!"

"Team Swan," he said, seeming to ponder over the name. "I like it."

And then he was out of my window and into the night air just as quickly as he'd come. I got up and shut my window before diving back onto my bed. Maybe this was the start of something good. Maybe from now on, the changes in my life would be for the better. But then I realized my date with Edward was tomorrow night.

_I didn't even have a dress_!

---

"Are you serious?" I gasped to myself the next morning as I sat in first period, watching the news.

"You heard us right, Forks High! Because of some unfortunate illness that has befallen Coach Clapp, all students enrolled in third, fourth, or fifth period P.E. will now be attending Ms. Mallard's Art and Home Economics class!" the school news caster repeated again, as if talking directly to me.

Immediately, the horrid gossip started.

"Coach Clapp got the clap!" was the most common rumor.

"Silence! Back to your articles!" shouted Mr. Persall as the news ended. "And Ms. Swan, please come to my desk."

Feeling carefree for once, I walked breezily to the front of the room.

"Yes, Mr. Persall?" I asked sweetly.

"Have you started the History of Forks speech yet for the graduation ceremony?" he questioned, looking at me expectantly.

"No, sir," I mumbled, "I haven't."

"Well, then!" he demanded, "You're wasting time doing that petty article! I'll write you a pass, and you can go to the Media Center to look through the old newspaper slides. This has to be good, Swan!"

"Yes, sir!" I promised, wondering if I should salute or something.

---

Thirty-seven minutes later, and I was banging my head against a table.

I wondered if being voted to do this article was some kind of perverse punishment. Trust me - looking through slides on the history of a town as tiny as Forks was far, _far_ from interesting. The biggest thing that had happened in the last few years was the remodeling of the Thrift Way.

Needless to say, I was still banging my head against the table.

"Bella?" called out a concerned voice I could recognize anywhere.

"Oh, um, hey Edward," I said, blushing slightly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, walking over to me. Leaning against the table, he looked like complete perfection. Even the umbrella-adorned "Hall Pass" necklace that the staff made kids wear looked stylish.

"Yeah, just frustrated," I said, sighing.

"Well," he said, flashing me a sideways smile, "don't give yourself a concussion. That might make tonight's date a little less fun."

I didn't respond. In fact, I think I had lost all sense of time and movement in my body. It was like that one smile had cut right through every minute, every inch, every atom in the room and landed directly on my heart.

The effect was amazing.

"Bella? Bella?" Edward asked, and it sounded like he was far away. I noticed vaguely that he looked extremely concerned.

He was even more beautiful when he was concerned, I decided.

His looks were creating these feelings inside and around me – like a huge gust of wind just flew right through me, blowing me all into a beautiful mess of scattered feelings. It felt like I was falling, falling, and _falling_ into eternity.

Then I realized I actually _was_ falling – off of my chair.

In a flash, Edward was behind me. My back was about a foot from the ground when he caught me.

It occurred to me that I should do or say something before I started to drool, or something equally embarrassing.

"Oh, um, whoa!" I said, hoping my reaction wasn't too delayed. Judging by Edward's smile, I guessed it was.

"Sorry, I just got a, um, really good idea," I fibbed.

"Oh?" replied Edward inquisitively as he helped me back onto my chair. "What is it?"

"I, um, forgot."

Edward raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but didn't comment.

"Well, I'll see you tonight," he was smiling that crooked smile again, but this time I was prepared. My knuckles were white as I gripped my chair. "Just promise me you won't get a concussion or break your neck or something!"

"I promise," I managed feebly.

He kissed me lightly on the cheek before leaving.

Now, I don't know if you've ever seen Flubber or not, but you know the little green glob of moving goo? Well, imagine that, except skin-colored and not moving, perched all globby-like on a chair.

That was exactly how I felt, and probably looked, when Edward left.

---

"Welcome, class! My name is Ms. Mallard, and I teach Art and Home Economics!" Ms. Mallard announced as we all stood in a line by her classroom door. "Now before I section you all off into your groups, I just have a couple of basic rules to go over! Under no circumstances do you ever come to my desk! I have a very weak immune system, and I do not wish to get your hormonal germs! Don't touch my tissues, always use hand sanitizer before you touch the pencil sharpener, only ask questions from your stations, always dry your sink after using it-"

She said more, but I was too busy scoping out the room. It was a very large room. Going vertically down the classroom were three rows, each containing six "cooking stations". The stations were basically mini-kitchens, each equipped with cabinets, sinks, ovens, pans, rolling pins, more assorted cooking materials – everything.

"Now, for the groups! This is the fun part," she giggled. "This list has each of your names matched with certain numbers! I'll pull one ball out of this at a time - groups of four will be at a station!"

From under her desk she pulled out a hollow wire sphere, full of little white bingo balls. Actually, the whole thing was obviously meant for bingo. Slowly at first, then with more vigor, she began winding the handle so that the sphere moved, throwing the balls about inside.

She stuck her hand in.

"Thirteen!" she called. "That is… Isabella Swan!"

Blushing at being first, I stepped up towards her. She told me, still giggling, to wait for the rest of my group by the front of the class.

"Eighteen! Twenty-four! Seven!" she called out quickly, one after another. "Newton! Mallory! Cullen!"

Mike, Lauren, and Edward, each with varying degrees of enthusiasm, stepped up to me in line.

"Station three!" Ms. Mallard said giddily, pointing to the row farthest left, by the windows. We were right in the middle of our row.

The kitchenette had three walls. One was the window, and the other two separated us from the groups in front of us and behind us. There was no wall to the right, so we had a full view of the middle kitchens on the two rows next to us. Cabinets lined both the top and bottom of the walls in our little kitchens, with a mini island counter in the middle with stools for us to sit on, two at each side. I sat on one of the stools by the window side, and Mike hurried up to sit beside me. Edward looked annoyed, but settled for the seat across the island from me without argument. Lauren reluctantly took her seat next to Edward and across from Mike.

"So this seems like a good group," Mike said, ever the optimist. Though by his actions, it was clear that he was only addressing Lauren and I.

"Yup," I agreed, trying to lighten the dark mood that seemed to have settled over our kitchenette.

"Bella works at a fast food place, too, so we practically have an ace up our sleeve!" Mike continued, and I blushed and looked away as both Lauren and Edward raised their eyebrows at me in surprise.

"Did," I corrected Mike, sure I was fired after the little kitchen incident. We were off for the next week due to repairs, but I wouldn't be surprised if they never called me at all.

"Really?" Mike asked, concerned. "What happened?"

"Just a little fire incident," I said, blushing deeper and trying to hide it behind my sleeve as my group stared at me in awe.

"Were you okay?" questioned Edward.

"Fire?" gasped Mike.

"No letting Swan near the stove," said Lauren, looking fearful for her life.

A few minutes of awkward silence later, all of the mini-kitchens had been filled with groups. I could see Jessica Stanley glaring at our group, jealousy clear in her eyes, a couple of kitchens away.

"Okay, class, you're very first assignment will be," Ms. Mallard said, pausing to giggle, "brownie sculptures!"

The class moaned in unison.

"But Ms. Mallard-" Angela Weber started to ask, but she got cut off.

"Instructions in the book in your cabinet!" Ms. Mallard cried, hurrying to her desk.

"This sounds fun," Mike said, rubbing his hands together.

"Loads," quipped Lauren, rolling her eyes.

I ignored them and pulled out the recipe book from the cabinet behind me.

"What does it say?" Edward asked courteously.

"Nothing," I said, sighing. "Just the regular brownie recipe… Then we just stack them and connect them with frosting, I guess."

"Ew, frosting," Lauren stated.

"Who doesn't like frosting?" Mike asked her in disbelief.

"Okay, so let's start with the batter," I announced.

I gathered eggs from the small refrigerator while the others searched the cabinets for the other ingredients. After making sure we had all of the items, we began mixing. Surprisingly, it went really well.

That is, until we had the batter.

"So I hear you guys are going out tonight," Lauren stated suddenly, shooting a look at Edward and I.

Mike, who had been using an electronic eggbeater to mix up our batter more, looked up suddenly. The eggbeater jerked with his sporadic movement, causing the thick, brown brownie mixing to fly all over us, our kitchen, and the kitchen and people next to us.

"Get it out of the batter!" I shouted, reaching for the still spinning eggbeater.

Lauren, noting Mike's helplessness, grabbed the eggbeater out of his hand. As it turns out, she pulled a little too hard, for her hand flew up, causing Edward to get hit in the temple with the rapidly spinning eggbeater.

"Edward!" I cried out, but instead of reacting to the wound, he calmly grabbed the eggbeater from Lauren and turned it off.

Brownie batter was everywhere, Mike looked borderline heart attack, Lauren looked like she was about to cry, and Edward looked really aggravated as he gripped his temple.

"Did someone defecate on their kitchen?!" screamed Ms. Mallard from her desk several yards away.

When no one answered, she ran screaming from the room - repeating "bad immune system" the whole time.

"If your teacher thinks you crapped in your kitchenette, do you think she'd fail you?" asked Mike pensively.

I didn't bother answering.

---

I sighed in defeat as I entered the house after school. Charlie was still at work, as usual, and I still didn't have a dress.

Not to mention how Lauren, Mike, Edward, and I all got called to the office by the principal so he could explain to us the importance of holding our bowel movements until a restroom break was available.

When I walked in my room moments later, I gasped and dropped my backpack. On my bed, in clear plastic wrapping, was one of the most beautiful dresses I had ever seen. It had a deep V-neck that was still classy, and it was the most beautiful shade of midnight blue ever. There was a belt there, too, that was bright silver and seemed to be made of diamonds. A pair of matching silver heels rested on the floor at the foot of my bed.

Running towards the dress, I pulled off the yellow sticky note attached to the plastic.

_Bella,  
I knew you didn't have one, so I took the liberty. I hope you like it – I know it will look stunning on you. Hopefully, your date will go well. I think so – Edward knows how lucky he is. (I hope.)  
Best wishes,  
Zac_

Before I could even sigh dreamily like I knew I would've, I heard Tina shout my name from the bottom of the stairs.

"Up here!" I called back, crumbling up the sticky note in my hand.

In a moment, the girls were in my room. They all stopped dead when they saw the dress.

"Oh, my God," whispered Vicky.

"It's gorgeous, Bella! Great choice," said Bev, her eyes alight. "I guess you didn't need my help after all!"

"It's precious, Bella," intoned Tina. "Where did you get such a dress?"

"My mom, in Florida, sent it," I replied quickly, managing to keep my voice steady. I had no clue when I became such a good liar, but Tina seemed to believe me.

"Well, I guess this'll make our job easier!" Vicky added suddenly, smiling wickedly.

"Your job?" I asked, confused.

"Oh, yes! With our help, Bella, you'll make this date one Edward will never forget!" Bev added.

"You didn't forget the plan, did you, Bella?" Tina asked, her eyes wise beyond their years.

All of them were staring at me. Looking at my shoes, I responded.

"No," I mumbled. "Of course not."

Suddenly, I wished Zac was there to help me. But he wasn't. I was alone in this one.

Because we all know that _nothing_ could be easy in this fiasco I called my life.

* * *

**Next chapter is The Date. Can you wait? I can't!**


	10. Dates, Tissues, and Claiming a Universe

**I'm not dead! Faster updates/slightly shorter chapters coming soon.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

(_Dates, Tissues, and Claiming the Universe_)

_"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." _

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Did you ever feel in your life like you were the one plant in the vase that got cheated out of your fair share of water?

That was sort of how I felt right now.

I was the small, slightly withered flower shrouded down below by the taller, prettier, more ruthless plants that all wanted the water for themselves. It had always been like this, ever since I was a child. Renee, with her lovable but slightly tiring kooks, was the daffodil hogging my well-deserved sunshine. Courtney Brockner, always stealing my ideas and calling them her own in third grade art class, had been the lavender pushing down my stem. And now, yet again, I was stuck in the soil while three beautiful roses towered over me.

"Stop looking like you just sucked on a lemon," demanded Tina as she tightened the belt around my middle.

"Seriously, Bella. You'll get wrinkles," added Bev.

"Like you would know," I muttered, angry. She may be stealing my Vitamin D, but that didn't mean I couldn't stick my thorns in her side from time to time.

"Meee-_ooow_," Vickey commented in a high-pitched voice, pretending to claw at me with her hands.

"Sorry," I sighed. "Pre-date jitters, I guess."

"Well shake them off before Edward gets here. You can only get so far with a frown and an attitude." Vickey winked at me.

Bev and Tina started laughing. I didn't join in.

---

"I still think the sports car was over the top."

He smirked at me as he gently placed the fancily embroidered napkin on my lap. The napkin probably had a higher thread count than my _bed sheets_. His face was inches from mine – the proximity, or lack thereof, was making me dizzy. It was like looking into the sun. It was beautiful and hot, but so unattainable.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked me as he took the seat across the small round table.

"That even if I _could_ deal with getting picked up in a car that cost more than my house, _this _would be the icing on the cake."

The restaurant was empty. No, it wasn't because were in some cheap, filthy, unpopular dump, but rather because Edward had had the whole place rented out for the night.

The _whole_ place.

The only 'fancy' restaurant within a twenty-five mile radius from Forks.

"First impressions matter. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for trying to make mine extra special?" His eyes smoldered over the small candle in the center of our table.

"Schmaybe." Normally, uttering unintelligible gibberish on the first date would be considered embarrassing. However, on this occasion, I was proud of myself for making my vocal cords work at all.

"Good." He smiled.

We fell into silence that wasn't completely uncomfortable. It actually would have been relaxing had I been keen on the regular behavior for first dates. Was it taboo to run out of things to say to your date when you _just_ got your Caesar Salads?

In all actuality, it wasn't that I could figure out something to say. I had plenty of things I could have said. The girls had absolutely grilled me on "sexy slogans" up until Edward rang the doorbell.

"Remember, Bella, if the tent is up, you're on the right track!" said Bev sternly before the doorbell rang.

I was so relieved to have heard it that I didn't even stop to do some last minute observations through my bedroom window. The girls even had to jump out the second floor window in the back of the house! (I made a mental note to collect dog poo next time and spread it out on the ground below. Just for laughs.)

"Door," Charlie had said from the couch, home from work.

"Thanks, dad," I replied, rolling my eyes playfully as I went to kiss him goodbye.

"And before you go, Bells, I wanted to give you this." From his back pocket, Charlie produced a little booklet of madlibs.

"Um, dad?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You, er, never know," he hedged, and then saw my look of incomprehension. "Erm, it's incase you run out of things to say…"

"A _madlib_?"

"You never know…"

"Um, thanks. See you later," I kissed him goodbye, stuffed the book in my purse, and ran to get the door.

I hoped to God that my date wouldn't be bad enough for a _madlib_.

"Are you ready, Bella?" Edward had asked when I opened up the door, smiling calmly until he saw my getup.

His mouth had parted slightly, which for someone like Edward Cullen, was equivalent to screaming in surprise.

"You look stunning," he had announced immediately, stammering slightly.

I would've complimented him back, but the sight of a gleaming black hotrod in the background made _my_ mouth open.

"Wha-what is _that_?" I had mumbled, somewhat rudely and incredibly unsexy.

"A car." He had grinned devilishly, and then the date had started.

"Pardon me, but I really don't want to spoil my appetite," Edward said politely, cutting short my reverie.

I looked down at his salad bowl. Around half of its contents were gone.

"Me either," I agreed, and then blushed when I looked down at my untouched salad.

I squirmed uncomfortably.

For the second time that night, my mouth parted in shock. Edward looked back over his shoulder in confusion, but Zac had already ducked into the female restrooms. _What was he doing here_?

"Is everything alright, Bella?" A horde of goose bumps covered my arm in delight as he said my name. As much as I hated letting him out of my sight, I had to talk to Isaac.

"Yes, sorry. I just have to use the restroom. Excuse me." Ever the gentleman, Edward got out of his seat to pull mine out for me.

"I'll be here when you get back." He winked.

My knees wobbled slightly so that my trip to the restroom took longer than normal.

"What are you _doing_?" I hissed in a furious whisper at Isaac as soon as the door had shut behind me.

"I knew your date would be a disaster! You need some help." He raised his hands in defense as he spoke.

Despite his kind tone, I still felt embarrassed and slightly frustrated.

"It's going fine!"

"You guys were completely silent until you started discussing your salads."

"It was a pleasant silence!" But my cheeks turned scarlet, blowing away my façade. Isaac had the decency to not rub it in.

"We can fix this date. It's not over. Just take this," he handed me a small sapphire stud identical to the one I was wearing. "It's a little too big, but I couldn't find a small enough microphone."

"_Microphone_?"

All I saw was a pretty blue earring. A _fly_ couldn't have even fit inside of it.

"Yeah. Just one of my many tricks of the trade." He grinned proudly. "So just give me your regular earring and put this one on, and I'll be able to whisper into your ear."

"But won't he be able to hear it, too?" I paused in fright. "Can't he hear us _now_?"

"Soundproof bathrooms, just incase someone gets the runs on a busy night." Yuck. "And no, he shouldn't be able to hear it. _You_ will hardly be able to hear it."

"So isn't it a bit pointless?"

He glared at me. "No! If you strain a bit, it'll be fine. It's not like we're dealing with some average human here, Bella, it kind of limits my powers."

"Sorry, you're right. I'm just kind of-" But I didn't finish, because out of Zac's pocket came huge sapphire necklace.

I gaped in astonishment.

"Holy crap! You honestly expect me to wear that? Won't that be a _little_ conspicuous? I go in the bathroom normal and come out looking like I just mugged Zsa-Zsa Gabor?"

"Tell him you had it in your purse but forgot to put it on."

"Oh? So not only will he think I'm a looker, but a real brain, too!"

"Listen, Bella, do you want my help or not?"

And for once I wasn't sure. I was _sick _of people helping me. It never worked out! Was it just time that I started helping myself? Making things good for _me_?

"Don't forget, Bella, who you are really doing this for. You wouldn't be here without them."

Zac stared at me so oddly that I had to look away. Did he really think I could forget that?

Because even if I could, no one would let me.

---

"You seem… _odd_."

"Huh?"

I felt dazed after the bathroom incident with Zac, for reasons I didn't know. Apparently, it was evident.

"You look a bit spaced out. Are you okay?" Edward's eyes filled with concern as he stared at me over my steaming heap of pasta.

I fidgeted with my earring.

_You're fine, just amazed_, hissed Zac into my ear. The sudden sound made me fly out of my chair.

"Yeah, just amazed!" I said, all chipper.

"Really? This is nothing for me, you know," he indicated the restaurant, winked and smiled. I giggled, totally losing my composure.

Which, strangely, felt _good. _So I kept giggling.

"You okay?" he asked, smiling widely.

"Yeah, just found that statement funny." His eyebrows rose and his smile faltered.

_Ego blow_, Zac whispered into my ear.

"No offense to your ego or anything."

"None taken," he smiled casually.

Our conversation floated into the green waters of awkwardness. For some reason, Zac had nothing to say about this. Several minutes passed. I coughed into my napkin. The candle danced a bit. Edward smiled kindly at me.

Then I heard a big _plop_ come from my ear.

I would've probably jumped out of my chair, but before I could, I noticed Edward staring in alarm at my earring.

"Did your earring just say _plop_?"

"What?" I pretended not to hear him, a blush covering my face.

"Your earring, it just made a _plop-_"

"WHAT?" I shrieked, somewhat unintentionally. Edward jumped. I giggled, slightly insane. "Erm, I have something in my ear. I'll be right back!"

I ran to the bathroom.

"_Zac_!" I hissed when the door shut.

He walked guiltily out from a stall, hands behind his back.

"We were sitting there in perfectly comfortable silence when my earring decided to take a dump. Any suggestions on how I explain _that_?" I shrieked, flinging my arms into the air.

"_Comfortable_ Silence, Bella? That's totally an oxy-" Zac started, looking uncomfortable.

"MAYBE IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO SILENT IF YOU HADN'T DECIDED TO LEAVE AND MAKE STRANGE SOUNDS INTO MY EAR!"

"_Shh!_ These walls aren't _that_ soundproof, jeez."

"Are you telling _me_ to be silent!"

"Bella, calm down! I, er, have a reason…"

"Oh, it _better_ be good," I glared.

And so Zac began explaining the tale of his plight. While Edward and I were having very delightful conversations on our own, Zac decided he needed a break (I interrupted here to start yelling again). So there he was, lounging on the counter in full view, when a staff member wandered aimlessly into the restroom. Making sure he wasn't detected, Zac used his speed of light skills to fly into a stall. Then, he realized, Hark! His feet were visible. He jumped quickly onto the toilet bowl seat, his arms outstretched for balance on each stall wall.

Well, he dropped the microphone that led to my earring speaker. Hanging perilously by the cord, Zac tried to bend over and grab it. Only, he slipped slightly, shooting his arms out just in time to keep himself from falling. The microphone, however, was not so fortunate.

"You're telling me you're a vampire _without balance_?"

"It, er, was never one of my strong suits…"

"Ugh," I sobbed, putting my head into my hands and leaning against the counter. "This is a disaster."

"But it was sounding so good!" he said, attempting to bring up my mood. With his microphone, he also lost his speaker to eavesdrop.

"Nevermind. I'll just have to make it work on my own. Can I at least have my real earring back?" Zac fidgeted when I asked him. "YOU _LOST_ MY EARRING?!"

"Sorry!"

I just shook my head furiously.

"You think _you_ have it bad? Imagine the poor waiter who was using the stall next to me… I mean can you imagine, thinking you're alone doing your business and then _plop_? Haha," he said, eyes wide, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, I can actually," I narrowed my eyes.

He made a funny noise, but I ignored him and stormed out of the bathroom.

"Everything go all right in the bathroom…?" Edward asked, surprised at my mood change.

Suddenly I realized with horror how insane I must have seemed to him, with my many mood changes.

"Yeah. Long line," I explained, rolling my eyes in exaggeration for effect.

"I haven't seen anyone come out," he said lightly, eyebrows raised.

We both stared at the bathroom door awkwardly for a while. Of course, it didn't move an inch.

"Erm."

Several minutes of silence later, and I couldn't take it.

"This has been really fun, but I think the restaurant is messing with our minds," he said, just as I blurted out: "Do you like madlibs?"

We both stared at each other in surprise for a bit.

"Yeah, I guess. Haven't done one in forever, though," he said, smiling slightly.

Ah.

But from what he had said, I guessed it meant the date was over.

"Well, I guess that means we're ready to call it a night," I said, sighing sadly. "If I could just call my-"

"Wait, no, no, no!" Edward said, hands raised. "I just thought maybe we could both use fresh air?"

I smiled widely. "I think so!"

He must have paid beforehand, because he just stood up, helped me out of my chair, held the door open for me, and left.

"Let's go to the pier," he said, smiling at me in the cool night breeze.

"Sounds great."

As we walked down the quaint Port Angeles street in companionable silence, staring at the stars, he grabbed my hand and squeezed a little. I stared down at our hands, intertwined, in surprise and pleasure.

"I'm thinking we should've done this earlier," he laughed.

"I agree!"

We just grinned at each other for a bit, and before we knew it, we were at the pier. We walked to the end of the longest jetty and sat with our legs dangling off the side. The waves lapsed in the moonlight hypnotically. This far out, the stars gleamed uninterrupted.

"Beautiful," Edward whispered.

"Yeah, it is," I looked at him, still smiling softly.

Except he wasn't staring at the moon, or the stars, or the waves. He was staring at me.

"No," he said softly, his breath ticking my cheeks. "I meant you."

And he leaned in, so slowly and gently, and softly placed his hand behind my head. I, in turn, moved my head forward. His eyes, that close, turned my body almost limp. If I could've stayed in that position forever, I would've.

And yet, with our lips that close, all he did was laugh a little.

"This feels too good to be true," he observed.

"If you weren't so right, I'd tease you for the cliché," I joked, laughing a bit in response.

His brows furrowed in slight confusion for a second. I worried I had done something wrong.

But my worries were pushed aside when he brought his face to mine, his lips only centimeters way, and said: "This is _our_ jetty. These are _our_ waves, and _our_ stars."

"I don't think Russia would be happy to hear that," I started to joke lamely, but he put a finger up to my mouth and kissed my cheek softly.

And the night, despite its faults, was perfect.

---

That night, when I got home and found my room blissfully empty, I pulled an empty shoebox from my closet. In it I put my fake earring, the book of madlibs, and one of the tissues I had stuffed into my bra for effect. This was my own little memory box.

Sighing in pleasure, I closed the box and put it under my bed.

I sat in my rocking chair and stared out my window into the night.

A thought flickered across my head – Was Zac still in the bathroom?

I giggled at the thought, resting my head on the stiff back of the chair.

It felt so _right _to just stare at the stars. I giggled again, feeling perfect.

_Screw Russia_, I decided. _Those were _our_ stars_.

* * *

**No offense to Russia.**


	11. Wolves, Parties, and Lots of Envelopes

Chapter Eleven

_(Wolves, Parties, and the Three Little Envelopes)_

"_Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it_."

- _Unknown_

"Jacob called."

"Really? I haven't talked to him in forever," I said conversationally to Charlie, stirring the noodles in the pot. Charlie was a couple feet away from, grating cheese. With a spoon.

He had already hurt himself with the designated metal cooking appliance.

"Well, you should think about seeing him later. Apparently he's having a rough time."

"Highschool trouble?"

"No, boy trouble, I think," Charlie said this in a muffled voice.

I blushed.

"Erm, and how am I supposed to help with that?"

"Being a friend I guess? I don't know, Bells, I'm just the messenger!" He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, alright," I only gave in because seeing Jacob sounded like fun. For some reason, he had this way of making things _better_. Then I turned and saw Charlie huffing and puffing at the cheese. "Don't stress yourself out dad – a spoon is a dangerous thing."

He threw me a dirty look as I tried to muffle my giggles behind my fist.

"Plus, it might be good for you to spend some time away from that Cullen kid."

"I've been on _one_ date with him, dad. And his dad is a doctor."

Charlie muttered something unintelligible.

"What happened to the girls then? I haven't seen them in a while," Charlie demanded a few minutes later.

Ugh, the girls. "They were a little… overwhelming. I'm taking an unofficial hiatus." Of which they were unaware.

But overwhelming was an understatement. Not only did they flock around me with makeup brushes and halter tops every time we came in a twenty foot radius, but recently they had started making me put all of my pads into a specially sealed baggy during _that_ time of the month because it was "really stressful when they stopped by and smelled blood reeking from the trash cans". Just thinking about it made me blush again.

Not to mention when Charlie stumbled upon the bag in my bathroom, mistaking it for a shopping bag he had misplaced. Now, every time he sees a bag from Nike, he gags.

_Yes_, I decided, a break from the house to see Jacob would be _great_.

"Well, whatever you do, Bells, be safe. Sometimes I think kids these days are just out for blood…"

Urgh.

Suddenly, it seemed like my little trip to see Jake couldn't come soon enough.

---

Driving to Jacob's house without Charlie felt weird, I decided later that day. It felt kind of like buying your lunch in middle school for the very first time, with your own money and no parents. So _invigorating_.

Plus, I remembered, this time I had better things to look forward to then microwave nuggets and fake cheese.

I was completely ecstatic by the time I reached my destination. I even rolled down my window a bit before turning off my car, just for fresh air. I rested my head back for a second in utter contentment. I loved La Push! I really didn't know-

BAM 

The sound of a gunshot sent me flying into the air. Which, let me tell you, in the cab of my truck, was no easy feat. I slammed both of my knees against the steering wheel and my forehead against the visor (denting both), but I didn't worry about either. I had just heard the sound of a _gun_!

I opened my car door and ran into the woods on the side of Billy's house, where the noise had come from.

Just ahead, behind a large bush, I heard the sound of a panicked voice. My stomach squirmed in agony and despair – _someone had been shot_!

Taking a deep breath, I ran up to the bush and pushed its branches aside. And then I gasped in shock and embarrassment, for what I saw was certainly no gunshot victim.

I blushed and giggled, not able to take my eyes off the sight before me. It was like an accident – so horrid to look at, yet impossible to turn away.

Because there, standing stock-still in front of me (but thankfully not facing my direction) was a completely naked Jacob Black, looking healthy and fit and totally unlike a recent gunshot victim, besides the torn up clothes on the ground around him.

I noted, somewhat guiltily, how strong and smooth his back had grown since the time I had seen him. His hair was trimmed shorter and his shoulders were wider, leaner, and stronger. His arms bulged impressively. I also noted, blushing deeper still, that his beautiful russet skin tone was spread evenly throughout his body. His _whole_ body.

"Urgh," said Jacob in anger, still not noticing me for some reason. I knew I should've looked away (_ran_ away actually), but something in me wanted to stay and see what he did. It was something unheard of, standing in the woods naked. Or at least to me.

I pondered over how antisocial I actually was. Was my head really so deep in the sand that I hadn't noticed a new trend of teenage naturists?

I was just about to creep away when Jacob turned around.

"_OhmyGod_!" I shrieked when he saw me, like _I _was the naked one.

Smooth, I commended myself. Smooth.

His hands flew up to cover his, er, _thing_, and I wished vainly that the Earth would suddenly get hungry and decide to eat me.

The core, I was sure, would be equivalent to Antarctica compared against the heat radiating off my cheeks.

About a minute too late, I slapped my hands over my eyes.

"Bella!" Jacob called, his voice wobbly with embarrassment. "I, uh, didn't know you were coming over!"

And I didn't know _you_ were a closet nudist, I thought bitterly.

"Er, yeah, Billy called me earlier… Didn't you hear my truck?" I asked, my voice high pitched.

"I was, um, a little preoccupied…"

"…So I noticed." My voice was dry.

It didn't occur to me how weird the situation would look to an outsider – me, crouched behind a big bush with red cheeks and my hands covering my eyes, conversing casually with Jacob, who I imagined to be standing there, still naked, using his hands for privacy.

Oddly, all I could think of was how I hoped the bush wasn't comprised of poison ivy.

"Do you, er, want to get dressed?" I asked, after several more uncomfortable minutes of silence.

"That sounds good," he said, his voice still shaky. I heard a _whoosh_ sound and when I opened up my eyes again, I was alone.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you've seen something utterly astonishing that you knew you weren't supposed to see? And yet the said image keeps popping up in your retina everywhere you look?

That's how I felt on my slow traverse to Billy's front door. Everywhere I looked, naked Jacobs popped up before my eyes.

Which was really odd when I noticed an old Quileute woman jogging down the street.

"Bella!" said Billy genially when I reached the front door. As if I hadn't just gone Peeping Tom on his son. Maybe he didn't know. _Oh, God_, I thought desperately, _please let him not know_!

"I heard you and Jacob had quite the time in the woods a few minutes ago," he joked heartily, giving me a big wink as he held the door open for me.

I wondered wistfully how great it would be if the ground had an appetite specifically for short brunettes with the name 'Isabella'.

"Erm," was all I managed to say.

"He should be out in a minute. Fully clothed, I might add," he boomed, laughing some more as he headed towards the kitchen.

"Haha," I muttered, blushing.

It seemed like ages until Jacob's door squeaked open, announcing his arrival. Maybe he too had been giving himself a pep talk on acting normal. Though, if that episode of _The Office_ had been at all correct, these pre-peeping jitters would be completely unavoidable.

_It's not like I _wanted_ to see that_, I thought bitterly.

Stupid teenagers and their stupid naked trends.

"Hey, Bella!" Jacob said (a little too perky), coming up from behind me.

"Hey, Jake!" I responded with a big phony smile.

We moved in to hug each other, but it got too awkward around midway and we ended up giving each other half pathetic, half _sym_pathetic pats on the back.

"Well, you've grown!" I said after several minutes of weird silence later. I meant it in the most sincere way possible, but then when I remembered the situation at hand, I blushed furiously and tried to back track. "Um, you know, I meant, er-"

"Sure, sure," he said, trying to act calm but failing miserably. A red haze was creeping up his neck.

I fidgeted with my hands. Jacob avoided making eye contact. Finally, Billy burst out of the kitchen in his wheelchair, looking exasperated.

"Are you two going to be silent all night?" he demanded. Neither of us answered him. "Fine. I guess I'll have to mediate. Bella, have you never seen a-"

"Dad!" Jacob shouted, eyes wide in horror.

"- Before?" Billy continued anyway. "And Jake, I know _you've_ certainly never done that before, but there's no need to be all prude about it! Now talk!"

Bill sighed and shook his head before rolling back into the kitchen. Apparently, his job was done.

"Erm, sorry for that," said Jacob, looking sincere.

"Any more humiliation and I think I'll die," I replied, sighing. My cheeks felt like they'd be red forever.

"_You_?" Demanded Jake, laughing. "I do believe that _I'm_ the naked one with the crazy father."

"And I'm pretty sure that _I'm _the one who hides behind bushes and watches naked kids talk to the forest."

We both started to laugh and slowly the tension ebbed away. We sat on the couch and started happily discussing normal things – school, homework, jobs (how the restaurant _still_ hadn't been rebuilt. Apparently there were structural problems), and how we both agreed that High School Musical was slowly taking over the world.

So it was that I was taken by surprise when Jacob sat up, back straight and suddenly rigid, with his eyes glazed and unfocused.

"Jake?" I asked, worried.

"Oh, _shi-_" he started, on his feet in a millisecond. "Dad! _Embry's on his way_!"

This confused me – was it really worth getting so worried about? Last I checked, Jake and Embry were friends.

"So?" called Billy from the kitchen.

"He's coming by _fours_!" hissed Jacob back loudly. No sooner had he finished speaking than Billy came rolling full speed out of the doorway yet again.

"Can you tell him not to?" Billy asked, face pale.

"He's mad – not listening to anything I say. He's coming either way," Jacob responded. They both shot me looks of worry.

I, however, was completely lost. I hadn't seen Jacob say _one thing_ to Embry. This, I knew, would require a phone, and it didn't take a genius to see that Jacob didn't have one.

"Um, should I be leaving?" I questioned, picking up on their tense moods.

"I hate to have to ask you to leave so soon! But it's a _really_ bad time-" Jacob started to plead in a hurry, but I interrupted him.

"It's fine," I assured him, gathering my keys and heading for my truck. They walked me to the door, but they weren't watching me – they were instead shooting anxious glances at the forest and up and down the street.

I got into the driver's seat, shut the door, and tried to put the key into the ignition. My hand shook for some reason and I dropped it. I bent down to pick it up, and that's when I heard it: the loud noise of something stomping through the woods. I heard Billy shout a swear word. I quickly grabbed my keys and sat back up, looking out my window just in time to see a huge wolf-like beast leap across the Black's yard.

The wolf's eyes looked strangely like Embry's.

With my mouth wide in shock and my eyebrows somewhere around my hairline, I turned to look at Billy and Jacob through my windshield.

They were both shaking their heads sadly, obviously wishing I had just stayed down a second longer.

---

"No. I refuse to believe it."

"Well, it's true. You saw it with your own eyes, Bella."

"But _werewolves_?" I asked incredulously. It was too insane – there were already enough mythical creatures in this town to satisfy me for a lifetime. Not to mention how especially hard it was to comprehend, sitting in the Black living room on their tiny plaid couch.

"It's our heritage," Jacob shrugged like it was no big deal while saying this.

Though if anything good came out of this little revelation, it was that I had now forgotten the little forest incident and that I no longer saw Jacob naked every time I looked at him.

_Oh, man_!

But was it really so crazy? I had openly accepted the vampire story. Werewolves weren't really such a stretch… And it _would_ explain a lot. Like why Jacob hadn't heard me earlier – apparently he was arguing with his friends (in his _mind_).

But suddenly Jacob tensed up and looked deep in concentration. He growled and narrowed his eyes at Billy.

"They're on their way. This time by twos," he muttered.

I was about to ask whom when Embry (who looked to be in a much better mood) and Quil, who I hadn't seen in forever, burst through the front door. Their hair was wild and all they had on were jagged jean shorts. Their were hitting each other playfully, but stopped when they saw the three of us in the living room.

"Hey, Bell-" started Quil happily, but Embry cut him off.

"She knows!" he gasped, staring at Jacob wide-eyed.

_Oh, the joys of telepathy_, I thought bitterly. My thoughts were furthered when grins broke out on their faces.

"She certainly _knows_," giggled Embry, elbowing Quil so that they both burst out into full on laughter.

"Yeah she knows! Because of _you_ guys!" Jacob shouted, flushing and standing up, pointing rudely at them both. I got the feeling that he was trying to change the subject.

"Wait, what? I'm lost," I announced.

"Nothing, Bella, they're just being stupid-" Jacob started, not meeting my eyes, but Quil cut him off with a howl.

"We know about the little _forest incident_!" he said, bending over with tears in his eyes from his laughter.

_Oh_.

"Listen, Bella, he may not look like much, but he's a real _beast_ in bed-" Embry wailed, and they both started laughing even harder.

My face felt like it was withering under the pure heat of my cheeks. Even Billy was chuckling now, and Jacob's chest was heaving in rage.

I stood up, flustered. "I have to go!" I squealed, speed walking out of the house.

I got in my truck and sped off, keeping my eyes strictly on the road, putting literally the pedal to the metal. No one bothered chasing after me.

_If I never go back to La Push again_, I declared internally, _it would be too soon_.

_Way _too soon.

---

When I got home, the house was empty. Charlie had probably been called in. I sighed, preparing to go up to take a shower, when I saw three letters on the counter.

I picked up the cream-colored one first, because it had the curly and over-the-top lettering of Tina's script on it. _Bella,_ it started, _you absolutely HAVE to go. This is it! We can finally test just _how_ determined Edward really is to make him yours_!

I had no clue what the letter was talking about, but it made me queasy anyway (thanks to Tina and her handwriting and her usually foreboding notes, there were roughly _five_ fonts on Microsoft Word which now gave me the shakes).

I picked up the next envelope, a black envelope with metallic pink stripes going down it horizontally, hoping for further enlightenment. My whole name was engraved on the top in silver, techno-modern lettering.

_Bella Swan_, it started in a neat type, _you are officially invited to the Blackout Ball, courtesy of the Forks High Class of 2007. A new type of invitation-only prom, this one will be electrifying._

A little asterisk was on the bottom informing me of more information that will be posted on the school bulletin board soon. They were really going all out this year!

My stomach plunged further still, and I realized that this was the party Vicky had mentioned. For the fiftieth time that day, I went: "_Ugh_."

Somewhat sadly, I opened up the next and last envelope in the pile: a plain white one with no words on the front.

I planned to just give it just a once-over, but stopped when I recognized the writing.

_We should stop and talk before school tomorrow._

That was all it said, minus the little 'Edward' on the bottom. I didn't stop and wonder why he hadn't just called, because I was too elated to have gotten a letter from him that I didn't care.

_I got a letter from Edward Cullen! _I squealed inside my head. Even if it did sound ominous and bleak, I'd hold on to it forever.

I was briefly concerned with myself – a date like my last I could see getting excited over, but a _letter_?

I sighed happily anyways and drifted upstairs into the shower. I taped the note to my bathroom mirror, smiling like an idiot.

Naked boys and letters from that-girl-you-hated-in-highschool-turned-vampire aside, this was an absolutely _great_ day!

* * *

Sorry for the big update gap - I got **so **much homework this week!!! But I hope you liked it, and reviews are always appreciated. Thanks for reading! ;D


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